Forever
by WorldofWarCraftFanatic16
Summary: Starts as Ray/Neela friendship. Eventual romance. Bad things start happening to Ray and when Neela finds out, then she wants to help him. These events will lead them to learn that they love each other. Set towards end of Season 11. Also, I do not own ER.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is set towards the end of Season 11 and it has been a long time since I have seen season 11, so I hope it doesn't show. Please correct me on mistakes about the timeline. This story will be eventually Ray/Neela just to warn you ahead of time. Right now just friendship.

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It was a slow night at County General, one of the few that only came every couple of months. Neela found herself hating it. There hadn't been one emergency all day, just the usual broken limbs, cuts or blood work patients. They were tasks that didn't take her long on average, and their waiting room never even got close to being full.

Even now, she stood at the counter, drumming her nails in boredom as she stared toward the front doors as if to will something to walk through them. This was an ER; she shouldn't be bored. Then again, it sounded bad if she wished people to get hurt, so she could treat them.

Ray was singing a familiar tune under his breath as he did useless tasks to occupy his time. She found herself humming along without realizing it. He had composed the song while lying on their couch the other night with his guitar. The cords he had played had followed her through the apartment while she went about cleaning dishes from their dinner, taking a shower, and finally collapsing wearily in her bed after yelling good night to him. His singing had lulled her to sleep and her brain must have subconsciously picked up the lyrics.

Morris was mostly asleep on one of the plastic waiting chairs with a cup of coffee in his hand. Ray had lost his long, white doctor's coat somewhere, she noticed as she brushed by where he was sitting on the counter. God only knew where it had disappeared to now. And, if her count was correct, he had straightened everything in the vicinity at least five times. He was never one to clean either.

"Maybe they'll let us leave early."

Neela rolled her eyes as she pulled off her own lab coat and threw it carelessly across the counter. Ray sounded like a kid in school waiting for a snow day. "Keep waiting then," she replied," but this isn't a school. You can't leave a hospital shift early."

A shrug from him was the only reply she got, as if he cared less. That and his usual charming smirk. Sometimes she wondered what his reasoning for choosing a medical career was. He was a wonderful doctor when he wanted to be and sometimes could run a trauma unlike anyone they had seen for a while at County General, but at other times he seemed careless. Sometimes it was as if he was too willing to ditch his hospital work if something more exciting came up.

The idea of leaving her work shift early in a trauma center was almost amusing, until she thought of all the people who could need help at any moment of the day. "You're almost out of here anyway," she added, glancing at the clock. Her own shift didn't end for another hour. It was going to drag on forever.

"Ten minutes and twenty three seconds," Ray replied, sounding hopelessly bored. "I'm going to injure myself so we have some excitement around here," he joked, but eyed the scissors lying innocently nearby none the less. Neela casually slid them into a drawer under the counter. Ray sighed and drug his hand through his gelled hair, musing the messy strands around further.

Morris snored rather loudly, earning an unamused look from Neela. Ray grabbed a nearby piece of paper, crumbled it up, and threw it at him. The paper ball bounced squarely off of Morris's forehead, but the doctor never woke up. Ray shrugged to Neela as if to tell her he tried.

Abby walked past the front desk for the seventh time and Neela began to wonder if she was actually doing anything either.

"We should hang out later. I got good news," Abby said to her, flashing her a big smile.

"Why don't you share the juicy gossip with everyone, Abby?" Ray inquired with a smug look on his face.

Abby raised an eyebrow at him as she passed by. "I didn't know you liked to gossip, Ray. I'll remember to invite you next time we have a girly get together." She put down the clipboard she had been holding and put it in the carefully sorted pile, slipping it into the correct place.

"Ah, that's okay. I know you ladies all like to talk about me. I don't to interfere."

Abby shook her head and shot Neela a meaningful look as she was retreating from the area.

"Don't worry. We can grab dinner later," Neela told her.

"Great!" Abby replied, before pushing through the doors that led to the restricted area in the back of the hospital.

When silence reigned again, Neela cast a glance in Ray's direction to ensure he wasn't getting himself into trouble. Usually, he didn't sit quietly by choice. Nothing. He was truly sitting still for once.

"Are you feeling okay? You've been sitting still for five minutes," she said with a hint of sarcasm. She was torn between feeling concerned or if she was just being weird. Ray had been off for the last day or so and she had noticed instantly.

There was a noticeable somber tone to his voice though he hid it well most of the time. He looked exhausted as if he hadn't slept well last night; the shadows beneath his eyes were more pronounced then usual. When she had asked him this morning, he had claimed that it was late nights with his band that were catching up with him, and it was believable. But, for some reason, she wasn't convinced. He had been able to balance his band, sleep, and work before so why had that suddenly changed?

"I'm fine. You don't have to keep asking," he answered. The response lacked that smirk she was used to or a comment about her worrying. It was probably nothing to worry about. Whatever it was would work itself out on its own.

The clock ticked slowly in the background as she faced the monotonous task of counting the tiles on the wall. She was that bored. When it struck the hour, the silence was interrupted by Ray jumping from the counter and making his way to clock out.

"See you later, roomie!" he called, sounding cheerful all of a sudden.

"How about ordering lunch for when I'm done?" she asked, smiling to convince him it was worth spending his money.

That way, she had lunch and dinner taken care of. No need to attempt cooking or anything. He shifted from foot to foot for a moment before giving in all too easily. She wasn't sure when they had become good friends and crossed the 'no seeing each other in the apartment' rule, but she was glad they did. He was surprisingly good to her…most of the time.

"Wow, he caved easily," Abby commented, appearing suddenly enough to make Neela jump.

"Bloody hell, Abigail!" Neela replied, pressing a hand over her chest, feeling her heart thumping wildly.

"What?" Abby asked innocently. "Were you too busy daydreaming about you…how did he put it…roomie?" She grinned in that annoying way that said she knew something Neela didn't.

Neela quickly fought the blush she felt rising to her cheeks. She was learning to deal with the remarks about her and Ray living together from her coworkers, but she still didn't like to think about the rumor someone had started last month about them. Neela huffed and turned away.

"We're only friends, you know."

Abby didn't look convinced, so Neela quickly changed the subject before Abby could fire off any more questions. "What's your good news?"

"Wait until dinner," Abby said mysteriously. "Luka is expecting me in a minute." She got a dreamy smile whenever she spoke of Luka and no one in County General missed that. Neela shook her head as she watched Abby retreat from the room. Two more hours, and she was out of here. All she could think about right now was lunch.

It wasn't until about a half an hour later that Kerry came into the lobby, walking briskly toward the doors where the traumas were wheeled in. Instantly, Neela perked up.

"Neela, I'll need your help. We've got a trauma coming in. ETA two minutes. Male. Middle twenties. Car accident. Luka's heading out back to bring him in."

Neela slung on her lab coat and went through the motions of readying the equipment. The familiar twist in her stomach was back just as it always was when a trauma was coming in. Someone's life as going to be in her hands, and she had to save them.

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TBC. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own ER or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks so much for all the support I got from everyone. It was very much appreciated. I kind of tip-toed around the medical part in this section because I do not know a whole lot of information on surgeries. Also, I tried to reply to all the reviews. **Historianic **did not leave a signed review that I could reply to, but please know that I was very happy to hear from you and thanks for the review. It is about time that Neela comes to her senses and sees that Ray and she are supposed to be together!

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There was a commotion as the patient arrived and soon Luka came in wheeling the gurney, his face more drawn and tense than usual. When she looked down at the patient, she gasped and stumbled backwards. Kerry caught her shoulders as she stared transfixed at the person, even though her brain was screaming at her that the emergency room wasn't the place to freeze.

Barely holding onto consciousness, splattered with blood and beginning to panic, was Ray. Her eyes didn't believe what they were seeing. Luka was leaning over Ray, talking to him as he quickly began his evaluation of Ray's injuries.

"Neela!" Kerry barked, shaking her a little to snap her out of it. "He's not in danger of dying right now, but he needs help or he will be!" Kerry left her side to help Luka, who was running his hands over Ray's face, checking for injuries beneath the blood.

"Possible concussion. He's having trouble breathing. His ribs were hurt on impact, and may be hindering his lungs," Luka called out, ignoring Neela's panic attack off to the side. "I need a tube so he can breathe." He was reaching for the equipment, but Ray had latched onto his arm wasn't letting go. Neela hurried forward and pried Ray from Luka, taking his hand and trying to draw him from whatever hell he was lost in. She doubted he even realized who was with him at this point; he was only reaching out for someone to help him.

"Neela, I need a mild dose of anesthetics for him!" Luka called to her and Neela numbly complied. Kerry and Luka were working together to get Ray patched up without asking too much from her. They both knew she was next to useless now.

Luka had the tube ready and was feeding it down Ray's throat while Kerry tended to his ribs, tearing his shirt away from the wounds.

"Ray? It's okay. We're going to help you," Neela said near his face, leaning over him so he could see her, but his eyes struggled to lock onto her face.

"He's going to need some surgery," Kerry called out and Luka began preparing to take Ray to the operating room.

"Neela, let us work on him. He'll be fine," Luka said gently, but Neela felt anguish crushing her own chest. Sobs began to shake her entire frame, and she was vaguely aware of stumbling out into the reception area where Abby tried to comfort her.

An hour later, Neela sat in a plastic chair beside Ray's bed, running her hands through her hair. Her eyes were puffy from crying even though it was silly to cry. He was going to recover fine. Kerry and Luka had done a wonderful job.

Reports from the accident had reached the hospital not long ago. A truck ran a red light and slammed into the driver's side. It hadn't even been Ray's fault, yet he was lying here, paying the price.

Ray had been sleeping fitfully for a while now. Neela had lost track of how long now. She felt her heart ache in sympathy as she watched him twitch in his sleep, shifting restlessly. He was no doubt reliving the accident in his drug induced sleep.

"Shh, Ray…you're safe." She pressed the hand not clenched around his own hand to his face. She could feel the heat of a fever beneath her fingers as she stroked his forehead, brushing his hair back. He turned his head into her hand, eyes opening slowly. His eyes settled on her face this time and locked onto her. She smiled softly, turning away to check and see if it was safe to remove the breathing tube. Luka had jotted down notes to remove it when Ray woke up if everything looked good.

"I'll take the tube out. You know how it goes-deep breath and release as I pull out. It's going to hurt some."

Neela slid the tube out with practiced ease, but Ray coughed uncontrollably once it was done. She supported his head up and pressed a glass of water to his lips. "Slow sips," she advised out of habit, even though he knew the procedure. Once he was done, she sat the glass on the nearby table and retook her seat by the bed. "Don't move too much. Your ribs are busted up. Do you remember what happened?"

He swallowed thickly, eyes drifting over the familiar hospital room. He had worked in it many times. She squeezed his hand comfortingly again.

"Truck… hit me. Sorry, no lunch," he said with a grimaced, and she smiled briefly over the fact he remembered he was supposed to get lunch for her.

Ray's memory was thankfully in tact. He was looking at her questioningly, showing the question he couldn't bring to voice out loud. The worry reflected in his eyes made her reach out to comfort him.

"You're going to be fine. You were lucky since you weren't wearing your seatbelt. Only hurt your ribs and had a small concussion. You also scared the hell out of me when you were carted in." Neela smiled lightly. Ray relaxed visibly, leaning back into the pillows. "I warned you that you should always wear your seatbelt. They put those things in there for a reason."

Ray chuckled softly, but after a moment, he seemed to be fighting sleep with slow blinks that took him longer to open his eyes from each time they closed. "Don't fight it. They drugged you up pretty well once they knew your head wasn't injured badly."

"Which explains the room tilting and the nauseous feeling," he replied hoarsely as he clenched his eyes shut.

Neela frowned in concern, leaning forward to help him lie back comfortably again. Some patients complained about side effects like that while the anesthetics were wearing off. "Are you going to be sick?" she asked sympathetically as she situated herself on the bed beside him.

"Nah, it's tolerable with my eyes closed," he murmured, shifting to get comfortable beside her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. She felt him relax into her, his breathing starting to even out.

They had done this several times on the couch, usually the other way around-her against him. They often stayed up late to watch a movie, usually a horror one since they were Ray's favorites, and fall asleep together on the couch. The next morning they would wake up still on the couch and begin scrambling to get ready for their shifts at the hospital before they were late. Neither of them ever said anything about it, and it had become a normal occurrence.

He succumbed to sleep and this time looked so peaceful. She stayed for a while, watching the TV in the room until it started growing later into the evening. Neela realized, when she turned the TV off and thought about going home, that she didn't want to leave him and go back to an empty apartment. She would probably lie awake tonight wondering if he was doing okay and if there were complications with his surgery. She would rather keep him company here until they could both leave. A while ago, she would have found that idea hilarious. When had they become good friends? She wasn't even sure.

She got comfortable, preparing to spend the night as she tucked the hospital blankets around both of them. He stirred briefly from her movements, frowning in confusion as she turned on her side to face him.

"You don't have to stay," he protested, his voice still sounding scratchy.

"I want to," she whispered, feeling his eyes studying her.

"You'll miss dinner with Abby."

"She'll understand," Neela answered, silently hoping that was true. In the chaos, she had forgotten about the dinner with Abby. Before he could think too much more of the situation, she added. "Go back to sleep."

"I would do the same for you," he slurred as his eyes slid closed. "If you were hurt…I would stay with you." He sounded as if he was thoroughly drunk, she noticed with a hint of smile.

"I know you would," she reassured, slipping her hand under her head, but allowed her other to smooth the blankets over them. Ray's breathing was still a little labored, but she was confident that he wouldn't become more ill overnight. If he did, she would be the first to know.

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TBC.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks to the reviewers again. I really enjoy reading your opinions and what not. I came to realize that this story will be a little bit lengthy, but if you guys are willing to stick with it, then I am willing to post it. It's up to you. What do you think? I also promise that the next chapter will have some happy, comical stuff in it. This one gets a little angsty at the end.

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Morning brought the pleasant feeling of the warmth of another person beside her. Upon opening her eyes, she was greeted with a sight she would much rather wake up to every morning-Ray still asleep beside her. She sighed contentedly, stretching some as she listened to his rhythmic breathing for signs of any problems. Nothing like the mess he had been yesterday.

She was about to close her eyes again when she caught sight of the time on the nearby clock. 7:00 a.m. She was supposed to start her shift here at six. Bloody, bloody hell. Neela slid out of the bed as quietly as she could and was rushing out of the room as Abby was coming in. They nearly collided, but Abby threw up her hands to stop them from hitting.

"Whoa, Neela, slow down," her friend advised.

"Abby!" Neela hissed loudly.

Ray stirred at the commotion, but as two pairs of eyes fixed on him, he merely rolled onto his back and slept on.

"I'm late. Why didn't you wake me?" Neela demanded in a whisper.

Abby kept her hands up in defense. "Take it easy. I got you covered. Luka said Ray had a rough night and you stayed with him so I thought it was best to let you stay. I took your shift."

Neela felt herself calming and regretted snapping at her friend instantly. Looking down at the clipboard that Neela knew contained Ray's medical information, Abby continued to speak.

"Besides, he's going to be released today so I figured you should be there to help him out a little."

Her friend had just done her a huge favor. Neela looked sheepish. "Sorry about the…" She trailed off, looking more embarrassed with each passing moment. Abby squeezed her shoulder to let her know she was forgiven before moving past her to Ray's bed. Neela reached up to smooth her hair, wondering how badly she looked, straightening, and tugging at the wrinkled scrubs.

Ray only awoke as Abby came to his side to check how he was doing. When she checked the binding on his ribs, he hissed sharply in pain even though she only applied small amounts of pressure. Neela watched as his eyes wandered to where she had slept last night before looking up for her once he realized she wasn't there. Neela came closer to them as Abby scribbled her signature on the papers she was holding.

"I'm signing your release, Ray," the blond doctor spoke up, fixing him with a stern look. "I advise taking it easy for a couple of weeks. No crazy band concerts or parties with groupies."

Ray groaned as he slid himself up into a sitting position. Abby hooked an arm under his to help him. "You're having too much fun with this, Lockhart. I'm in serious pain here," he moaned as Abby slid her arm around his back to support him to his feet. Neela held back from hurrying over to help him as well. There was no need for him to feel smothered.

"That's why I wrote a prescription out for you as well. You know how it all goes." Abby pulled the slip from the clipboard and handed it to Neela, who tucked it into her pocket for later.

"I hope you're not going to make me use a wheelchair," Ray commented as he finally was steady on his feet. Abby pursed her lips, mentally debating against hospital rules in her head.

"I suppose we can skip that rule as long as Neela helps you. I brought you some clothes too. You can get changed before you leave." Abby threw a bundle to him of some clothes she had found in his locker.

It took some time, but when he finally emerged from getting changed, Neela held out an arm to him with a small smile, and he slid his arm through hers with a grin of his own.

They made their way through the chaotic hospital. Many of the staff stopped to ask Ray how he was doing and looking sympathetic.

"How do you feel?" Neela asked once they exited the hospital.

Ray attempted to draw in a deep breath of fresh air, but his ribs prevented him, sending waves of pain up his body. "A lot better then yesterday, but definitely not up to those parties Abby was talking about."

That was surprising coming from his mouth. Neela felt him squeeze her arm tighter when the step down from the sidewalk jostled his ribs.

"Do you need to go slower?" she asked in concern. He opened his eyes from clenching them shut and shook his head.

"I'm fine."

She changed the subject as they approached her car. "I was thinking about ordering that lunch we missed yesterday and watching a movie-your choice." Neela opened the passenger side door for Ray.

"My choice?" His charming smirk was back as he mulled over that while Neela went around to the driver's side door. "I got a good one then."

"As good as the last one?" she asked as she buckled her seatbelt. In truth, she didn't like horror movies like he did, but she tolerated them because he insisted they were good.

"Not quite, but definitely a classic."

The car roared to life and they pulled away from the hospital and headed toward their shared apartment.

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The horror movies, she admitted, were growing on her, and the Chinese food they had delivered to their apartment was extremely delicious. The only thing ruining their afternoon was that she could tell Ray was in pain. He was shifting more often from his position on the couch, and his face would crease up briefly before relaxing. He couldn't seem to get comfortable.

"How about some pillows?" she offered while grabbing them from the back of the couch. He helped her place them around him until he felt boxed him, and his every move was cushioned. The ache lessened under the feathery support.

"You're just trying to distract yourself from the movie," he joked softly as she made herself comfortable beside him.

"This so does not scare me."

"Sure, it doesn't," he agreed with sarcasm.

Neela took a sip from her coke before lifting Ray's own drink to him as well to spare him from having to reach for it. He felt like a child. She was doing practically everything for him, opening doors, reaching for stuff, driving, making him comfortable, worrying. Soon, she would be insisting on helping him shower and change clothes. Then again, if she joined him in the shower, it wouldn't be quite so bad. He had struggled with his shirt when he had changed in the hospital, but pride kept him from letting her help them. Right now, it was flaring back up again as she leaned forward to sit the glass back down for him. The only thing that kept him from snapping from embarrassment, and possibly yelling at her, was her calm attitude towards it. She acted as if nothing was wrong or as if she wanted to do everything. Maybe she did.

"Why did I ever let you pick?" Neela groaned, covering her eyes. She jumped several times in the next few minutes, proving her earlier statement about being not scared to be false. He chuckled every time she made startled noises, and she glared at him, feigning anger.

Her anger faded abruptly however when violent coughs ripped through Ray's body, wracking his entire frame. He leaned forward, grimacing in pain, with one hand clutching his shirt over his chest. Each cough put pressure on his tender ribs and he had to blink tears away.

"Don't panic. Deep breaths," Neela instructed, leaning forward with him for a moment before springing into action. In a flash, she got a bottle of water and brought it back for him. The movie was ignored as she listened to him gasp in breaths between fits even though he knew he had to stay calm.

"Deep breath," she repeated before raising the bottle to his lips, tipping it for him. He tried to reach up and hold it, but his hands shook badly so she helped him steady it. "Small sips."

The water soothed his throat, and the fit was stopping, leaving only the damn inferior feeling behind. He sat gingerly on the edge of the couch for a few more moments to make sure he was really in control, and Neela held the water close in case he wanted it. Ray avoided her eyes, feeling his face flush as he traced the carpet with his eyes. He hated being sick and hated being helpless even more. Neela said nothing, simply waiting to see if he was okay or not.

"Thanks," he replied with an apology as well. "I think I ruined the best part of the movie for you."

"Like that's more important to me," Neela replied as she resituated the pillows for him. He sank back into them wearily. "You should be resting. You're exhausted," she added, looking guilty. She had insisted that he have lunch with her and watch a movie. She should had let him come home and sleep some more.

For once, he didn't make any comment as she studied him. The shadows under his eyes, that were present before the accident, looked darker. He offered her what she supposed was a reassuring smile, but it came across strained.

"Damn you, Barnett, don't you dare say you are fine," she said with a frown and more harshly then she meant. He was so obviously not fine that it was painful to see. Ray's smile faltered when he realized she wasn't convinced. To her, it seemed as whatever had been shadowing him before the accident had come back to haunt him. It started to clear from his expression as fast as it came though and he tore his eyes from hers to return to the forgotten movie.

Neela was torn between pursuing what had been bothering him and not.

She wanted to shut the movie off and demand that he spill his guts, but she knew she couldn't. To push him that way would probably be pushing their friendship.

Neela looked up in surprise and with question as he suddenly stood and began to walk away. "Ray?"

As soon as Ray stood, he felt disoriented; his head was pounding to the point where the room was spinning. Tears were beginning to build in his eyes for a reason he didn't know, and he managed to trip over his own two feet. His ribs protested the rough treatment to the point where his physical pain overrode his mental anguish. Somewhere in the back of his mind there was a voice whispering that he shouldn't be stressing his body out this way. He had been in a car accident only yesterday.

He managed to catch himself on the wall when he tripped and held still, trying to will the black spots in front of his eyes to disappear. Somehow, Neela seemed to know what was wrong, and before he knew it, her worried face swam in front of his tear blurred eyes.

"Sit down, put your head down," she was ordering gently, her caring hands were touching his face and pressing his head down. A shuddering breath left him as he used the wall to guide him down to sit on the floor. She followed him down, but never once tried to make him talk. He scrubbed uselessly at his face to try and stop the tears before she pulled at him until he was close enough to get her arms around him. He found himself burying his face into the junction of her neck and shoulder, and letting her lull him into silence.

Neither of them brought up the incident again.

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TBC.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Another long update, but I wanted to keep this whole section together. The next chapter is when you learn the big problem. Though, in this chapter you learn something else little that has gone wrong for our favorite doctor. Also, the story about something that happened in here is made up. There was no episode where that actually happened. Enjoy and leave some feedback, please. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed so far. I love the responses from everyone!

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"Hey, Doc Rock is back! About time!" Frank exclaimed, as Ray came behind the counter to pick up the clipboard for the first patient of his shift. Abby smiled his way as she brushed past him to wipe off a section of the board.

"We've had a slow morning," she commented before turning to face him. "How are you doing?" She had the same studying expression that Neela got which made him wonder how these women saw through him so easily.

"I am doing wonderful, Miss. Lockhart," he answered as he swept past her. "And back to rocking this hospital. Just admit that you were all terribly bored without me."

A grin passed over Abby's face. "Glad to hear it, because I'd hate to see Carter get on your case for missing any more days."

Ray refused to let the threat of Carter dampen his good mood as he entered one of the spaces set up for the patients. Neela watched him go as she pulled on her lab coat. There was barely any sign of the accident left. Two weeks of almost constant rest had done him well and besides some pain in his ribs once in a while, he was back to his old self. Whatever had gone wrong and had bothered him clearly was gone or so she hoped. Abby nudged her when she came up to the counter, making her turn her head.

"What do you think?"

"About what?" Neela asked innocently as she shuffled some of the papers around. Even if she had a suspicion of what Abby was talking about, she wasn't going to admit it.

"Ray. Is he really as well as he says? You've got that look on your face that tells me you're worried."

Neela snorted, but Abby's suspicions were right on the money as usual. Somehow, Abby always knew these things. She had this mother instinct that was in tune with everyone she met and it was pretty damn good. Better than Neela sometimes liked to admit. She looked up, realizing Abby was still waiting for an answer.

"He recovered fine…physically," Neela trailed off, looking anywhere, but at Abby specifically.

"But?" Abby prompted smoothly, sliding closer to Neela in a fluent motion that even Morris didn't question. He was always looking for someone else's business to interfere with.

"There is no but," Neela replied, slapping the papers down harder then she meant to in her frustration. Morris glanced curiously in their direction, but after a moment, he was distracted by someone else. Neela lowered her voice. "He is fine, but before the accident he wasn't. Maybe it was just me, but he was in this weird funk like depression."

"What do you think it was?" Abby asked with worry lacing her voice.

Neela shook her head. "I don't know. Whatever it was it probably gone. We shouldn't worry about it."

Abby threw her a look to ask if she was certain, but Neela didn't answer, instead heading off to see to her own patients.

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"Good morning, Mr. Snyder. What seems to be the problem?"

Ray's attitude had stayed strictly professional despite his rather 'entertaining' morning. First, he had to stop Carter from breathing down his neck about whether or not he was well enough to be working again. Luckily, Luka had come to his rescue. Ray was starting to really like that guy. His first patient of the day had seated himself on the bed and proclaimed he had a sprained pinky.

"…I see," Ray shook his head slightly as he scanned the clipboard for the symptoms the patient had described. Tingling, dead sensation, and numbness. Ray swore if a trauma came in that he was going to run out of here whether they wanted his help or not. "How did this happen, sir?"

The man shifted uncomfortably while Ray waited with his pen to write some notes down. He lifted his eyes to his patient when all he got was silence. Mr. Snyder cleared his throat.

"Well, you see my…significant other and I were practicing new positions when…I miscalculated."

Ray couldn't make his pen write the words. He felt the Lucky Charms he had eaten this morning start to make a comeback. He tried to look calmly around for a way to escape. _Please let someone be rushed in whom needed immediate attention…_

"I'm going to let my coworker take a scan of your finger. He'll be right with you." Ray all but ran from the room and shoved the chart in Morris's hands, ordering him to take over. Abby raised an eyebrow at him as he leaned on the counter.

"Wow, Ray. You ran from that room. What's going on in there?" It wasn't often that one of the doctors couldn't handle a patient who came in.

"You don't want to know," Ray muttered to himself, but he was sure Abby heard him.

Ray took a five minutes break in the lounge, draining half of the coffee from the machine in order to recover. He ran into Morris on his way to see to other patients, and of course the latter had to throw a comment in.

"What was that about earlier, Barnett? Your Mr. Snyder guy only had a pinched nerve. Are you loosing your touch or what?"

Clearly Morris hadn't asked how Mr. Snyder had gotten the injury or the patient had changed his story after scaring away the first doctor. This was going to be a great day. Ray sighed, looking at the next chart. It was a little girl with a broken arm; he could handle this one.

Before Ray even got to the room, however, the little girl was sobbing hysterically, and her wails only intensified when he took a seat on a stool in front of her. Her mother looked apologetic as he cringed.

"Okay, sweetheart, there's no need for that. Doctor Ray is going to make it all better," he declared as he fished a piece of candy out of his lab coat. Carter never approved of him giving the patients candy, but it worked like a charm, and he never listened to Carter anyway. "Do you promise not to scream and cry?" he asked, and she nodded as the fingers of her good hand closed around the treat. Already she was calming, looking eagerly at the candy.

The mother sighed in relief as silence swept through the space. The ER seemed five times quieter.

"Now, what's your name?" Ray asked. The girl used her sleeve to dry her face. He was aware of Neela slipping into the room to help him if he needed it. The ER must have been slowing down again. Neela quietly introduced herself to the mother, but Ray was focused on the kid in front of him.

"Alyssa," the girl responded softly and with a slight lisp. She was eyeing him curiously as if struggling to decide whether he was really going to help her or not.

"Okay, Alyssa, what happened?" he continued while carefully taking her arm that was broken. It had swelled and was now a lovely blue and purple color around the wrist. When she hesitated, he gave her an encouraging smile.

"I fell off my bike," she answered.

"She shook herself up a little," her mom added to Neela. "She's still trying to learn how to ride a bike."

Ray gently pressed his fingers over Alyssa's wrist and asked her to try and move her fingers, causing the little girl to whimper in pain.

"Looks like a clean break," Ray announced, tilting his head up to look at the mother. "We're going to get some x-rays just to be certain then we'll get it taken care of." Ray picked the little girl up easily and placed her on the floor so she didn't have to jump down. Neela was informing the mom that they would be right back before she followed him out into the main room. The x-ray lab was further down.

"She seems awfully calm. Did you use the candy trick again?" Neela asked once she caught up with him. She shook her head in mild disapproval when he confirmed her thoughts.

Alyssa was watching the other doctors with wide eyes, but was walking obediently by Ray's side. Neela wasn't sure how Ray had managed to make all the kids who came through the doors love him, but he had a way with them. Watching how well he handled them never failed to make her smile.

A short time later, Neela was holding up the x-rays that confirmed Ray's guess of a clean break. It didn't surprise her from the way the injury had swelled like a balloon. They took the girl back to the room with her mother, and fixing her arm was fairly easy with Neela to help him. Neela turned away to sanitize the tools they had used after they finished.

"Thank you," Alyssa's mother said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Neela replied warmly before the mother led her daughter out of the room.

Abby stuck her head in the area as Ray was helping Neela with the tools. "We've got a trauma coming in and Luka and I are going to need your help." Both Ray and Neela glanced at each other before rushing out toward the back doors, following the gurney as it was wheeled in.

"What have we got?" Ray asked. Neela noticed as she started to check the patient's injuries that he already had his stethoscope in his ears and was checking for himself what the injuries were. They fell into a familiar routine, working together and not getting in one another's way.

"Male. Early teens. Other kids tried to beat him to death. He's bleeding internally and badly," the paramedic reported as they rushed for the trauma room where Luka and Abby were preparing things. Neela threw herself into the chaos that erupted around her and the wildly beeping monitors told her she didn't have much time to work with.

"Blood pressure is falling rapidly!" Abby called out. "We need to start setting up for blood transfusions as soon as he's ready." They were doing everything possible to save him in the amount of time that they had.

"We're losing him!" Ray shouted, and he lunged for the paddles to shock the kid back to life. Neela's own heart was racing as Luka helped him, but the monitor never strayed from flat-lining. The even tone drowned out everything else as they worked frantically to bring him back to life. Minutes crawled by agonizingly slow, and Ray was cursing in the background. The heart monitor jumped before flat-lining again. Neela released a breath that she had been holding as Luka pulled away the defibrillator slowly. Quite a while had passed. They had lost the patient for sure.

A dark depression settled in the room as Luka shut off the heart monitor. Ray broke the silence by throwing down his tools in disgust and ripping off his gloves in sharp motions before storming from the room. Abby looked up at Neela with tears in her eyes, and Luka had his head bowed. The still body of the boy burned an image in her brain that she wouldn't soon forget as she felt tears gather. It wasn't often that they lost a kid so young, and she couldn't begin to imagine how to tell the parents.

Right this second, she decided, they had another problem though. Pulling off her own gloves, she raced after Ray. For once, the main room of the ER was quiet; most likely having figured out something went wrong after Ray burst out of the trauma room. She ignored their questioning stares and headed for the back doors, knowing she would probably find him outside. He was out there, leaning against the building with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

She noticed his anger had evaporated already, and only anguish marred his features now. Neela slowed her pace, wrapping her arms around herself as the frigid air hit her. He barely glanced at her when she leaned on the wall beside him.

"We shouldn't have lost him," he spoke up, blowing out a breath. In a way, the cold air was refreshing, and it helped calm her emotions. She realized it must have been his reasoning for coming out here.

"He was in too bad of a shape before he got to us. It's not completely our fault," Neela replied softly.

Ray kicked a stray stone hard, his expression hardening to show some of his previous anger. Neela watched the stone tumble and clatter across the pavement. "His death's still on our hands."

Neela stared out into the night, watching as snowflakes had begun to fall. "As clichéd as it sounds, Ray, we can't save them all." It sounded like a horrible thing to say, but there was some truth to it. Some patients were beyond their help. A bitter laugh left Ray, and she looked up at him in surprise. "We've been doing so well lately," she protested.

"Maybe you, Neela, but for me it's the second in a couple weeks." He was shaking his head and scuffing his foot in the pavement. Neela felt sympathy course through her at those words. Loosing a patient was hard on the doctors, no matter how long they had been in the business.

"Tell me," she ordered softly, concern showing on her face. She touched his arm, drawing his eyes down to her own. He turned his head away again, but she waited patiently for him to speak.

"Three weeks ago, a woman was brought here because there was something wrong with her unborn baby. She had complications that other doctors couldn't solve. By the time she was rushed to us, the baby had to be born to save it from dying or killing the mother." Ray paused, drawing in a breath and craning his neck to look up at the stars. "It was already a bad night. The ER was packed. Only Carter and I could be spared. We worked for an hour before we finally got the baby out." He paused again, a far away look on his face. Neela had a chilling feeling of what was coming next. She leaned toward him to hear him when he spoke again. "The baby died two minutes later in Carter's arms. The mother was devastated-said it was the last thing she had of her husband. He had died a couple months earlier overseas in the military."

Neela was unsure of what to say, suddenly seeing that comforting him was completely different from comforting Abby after a bad day. With Abby, they had a routine. Abby would talk and usually end up in tears, Neela would hug her, sometimes cry with her, and they would talk until they both felt better. She doubted Ray would appreciate that as much.

Three weeks put them not long before Ray's accident, and his odd behavior around then was starting to make sense. Before she could think of the right thing to do, Ray was talking again.

"Despite our failure in not being able to save the baby, the mother thanked us over and over again for saving her and not giving up. The next day, County General gets a check. She donated some of her husband's money to the hospital and us. I didn't deserve it. Maybe you're right, I shouldn't be a doctor." He said it bluntly enough to make her flinch. She had regretted those words as soon as she had spoken them almost a month earlier. She had been angry, and he had made a mistake. But, he didn't deserve to hear those words from her.

"That's not true! I was wrong to have said that," Neela whispered harshly. "You and Carter did all that you could. Even the mother knew that."

"It was just a baby. A little boy."

He sounded so negative that she wanted to shake him until the Ray she knew came back. Ray Barnett wasn't negative and depressing, and he certainly didn't pull her down with him. Neela moved closer to him, sliding her arm around his waist in a half hug. His own arm hooked around her shoulders, turning her into him. Part of her reasoning was to comfort him and partly because the cold was starting to bite at her skin through her scrubs.

"Ray?" she asked, tilting her head back to look up at him. "Do you remember the time we had our trauma rooms flooded with bystanders from a robbery? They all had multiple gun shot wounds and _you_ saved them. Everyone was in a panic because Carter and Kerry were in surgery and there was only you and bunch of other interns on duty." She smiled at the memory, remembering when Abby had told her about it. "But, you kept your head and took charge. You got all the interns working together and orderly. You, Dr. Barnett, saved all those people's lives that night. I remember how surprised Carter and Kerry were when they found out. You didn't lose one patient."

Neela watched him carefully, pleased to note that he looked a little less troubled as he remembered the good he had done that night.

"They didn't think they had it in me," he grinned, for a moment looking like his old self. Relief swept over her; she had seen him down too many times over the last couple of weeks. She pressed on, hoping to drive the point home.

"You're doing too much good here to think about quitting."

Ray cleared his throat and his eyes traced cracks in the pavement as he turned it over in his head. "Yeah, you're right," he finally agreed.

"Good, now can we go back inside? It's freezing and Luka is going to be looking for us soon."

He squeezed her shoulder before releasing her. "Thanks, Neela."

She pushed open the door to the hospital, smiling in relief as the heat rushed out to warm her. "How do you put it? Anything for my roomie."

* * *

TBC.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Once again, thanks to everyone who is reviewing and even the ones that are not, but are still reading it. Thanks to everyone.

Disclaimer: I do not own ER or any of the characters.

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Once again they joined the familiar fray of the hospital in the middle of the afternoon. Neela tried to push the incident with the boy from her mind, and no one spoke much about it. It wasn't until Abby caught up to her in the locker room did she have to remember.

"Hey, Neela."

Neela turned to see Abby coming into the room as well to gather her things before she left. "Are you guys okay?" she asked lightly, then clarified. "You and Ray?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Don't worry about it," Neela answered, popping open her locker. "I told you he's been…off lately. I think it's just the pressure of working here catching up to him."

"Ugh, I know what you mean. All the bad stuff makes you forget there is good that happens here too," Abby replied as she pulled off her lab coat and put it in her locker. "One of our most promising interns got sick during a trauma today. She had to leave the operating room. Hopefully she was just having an off day too."

There was a beat of silence as Neela pitied the intern who was having just as bad of a day as they were. Bad luck seemed to be contagious at County General.

"I do have a favor to ask if you don't mind…" Abby added.

"Of course not."

"I need a ride to the store. My car is in the repair shop, and I don't want to take a taxi with my groceries," Abby explained as Ray came into the room. He snapped his fingers, pointing to Abby, when she said that.

"That reminds me. We should go to the store too. I ate the last of the cereal this morning."

"When were you planning on telling me this?" Neela asked, as she pulled on her winter coat. Ray was digging through his own locker for his coat. "Or were you just going to sulk tomorrow when you didn't have any?"

"Hey, I'm telling you _now_," he protested before slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"So, I guess that's a yes you can take me?" Abby cut in.

"If you don't mind shopping with us," Neela responded. "It'll be nice to have a third person. Ray and I always argue over whether to get chocolate chip cookies or chocolate, chocolate chip cookies," Neela said casually as she picked up her purse. Abby bit back a laugh, knowing her friend was completely serious. Ray was already a couple feet ahead of them, rooting around in his pockets for his car keys, as they headed into the parking lot.

"I let Ray drive today," Neela said apologetically as they filed into the car.

"Oh, great, we probably won't make it to the store," Abby groaned as Ray announced cheerfully for everyone to buckle their seatbelts.

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They arrived at the local supermarket about shortly later. It was overly crowded as usual, and Ray insisted that both Abby and Neela held his hands until they got safely in the store. He claimed you never know what crazy old ladies were driving around there.

"My boyfriend could so beat you up," Abby declared as she pried Ray's fingers from her own so she could get a shopping cart.

"Ohh, Abby, who's the mysterious boyfriend?" Ray asked with an inquisitive look. He was apparently slow on the uptake because Abby was fairly certain the whole ER knew who she was dating. Neela saved her from having to answer however.

"Focus, Ray, what do we need to get?" the British woman asked as they entered the first packed aisle. They were picking up the usual stuff-bread, butter, milk, and easy stuff to make for dinner if they had to-and squeezing through crowds of people from aisle to aisle. Neela found herself sighing as she got trapped in one. Abby had gone to a different section of the store, and there was really nothing they could do until the people in the aisle decided to stop being ignorant.

"Do you want me to yell fire?" Ray murmured from beside her. "It's really funny to see them run," he added as if he had done it before. Neela considered it for a moment, but when he opened his mouth to do it, she waved her hands to cut him off.

"Don't you dare!" she hissed. "And you're a doctor too."

He shrugged as if to say it was her loss and turned to pick up a box of cereal when the people moved.

"Get me a box too," she called to him and he scanned the shelf for her usual stuff before throwing it in the cart as well.

Neela was muttering in a foreign language by the time they got out of that aisle, and anyone who knew what she was saying looked insulted. Their last stop was at the back of the store where Ray liked to do all his shopping-the snack section. Neela tried to stay away from most of the artery clogging junk, but he demanded them. Most of the time it was like shopping for a little kid and apparently no one had ever told him no when it came to these foods.

Which brought them to where they had a disagreement every time they went shopping-the chocolate chip cookies or the chocolate, chocolate chip cookies? Last time Neela had gotten so fed up that she had said no cookies at all.

"Rock, paper, scissors. If I win, we get chocolate, chocolate chip. If you win, we get chocolate chip. And no cheating!"

Neela rolled her eyes as she held out her fist. "You can't cheat this game, Ray."

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

Neela threw out scissors, but Ray put out a rock. He had won this time, but she guessed it was only fair since she had technically won last time.

"And we were on a limit this week," Neela sighed as she looked at all the stuff they had gotten. "If I remember correctly, a certain someone broke the window and it cost me a hundred and fifty bucks to get it fixed."

"That was totally not my fault," he protested as they got in line for a checkout. "But I'll make it up to you-the groceries are all on me."

He pulled out his old beaten up wallet and she made a mental note to pick up a new one for him in the future. "Half," she bargained. No matter how much bad he managed to do when she left him unattended, she could never stay mad at him. They always ended up splitting the grocery bill in half, but this week he surprised her by turning her offer down.

"Ray, I'm paying for half," she repeated firmly, taking the money he was holding from his hands. She counted through the bills quickly before handing some back to him.

Abby chose the perfect time to intervene as Ray and Neela were staring each other down, each holding onto a side of the money. "Hey guys, how'd it go?" she asked when she slid around them to put her stuff up on the counter.

"Good," Neela chirped as if everything was normal. Abby glanced between the two of them, but their 'argument' seemed to be over.

"Let me help," Ray said smoothly, taking the milk carton from Abby's hands and helping her to put her groceries up onto the counter. Abby raised an eyebrow at his generosity.

"I admit, Neela. You have done _some_ good work with him. Unless he's doing this because he wants something…"

Ray looked offended, but continued to help her nonetheless.

"Oh, you have no idea what he's really like," Neela muttered to herself.

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Neela had gotten home from her shift at the hospital less than fifteen minutes ago. She had made a cup of hot chocolate and curled up on the sofa to watch a sappy romance on TV. Ray had stumbled into the bathroom right when she got home, and only a minute ago did she hear the shower turn off. He had worked night shift, so she assumed he had been sleeping all day.

The doorbell rang, and she glanced at the clock below the TV. Seven 'o'clock on the dot, and they weren't expecting visitors that she knew about. Neela groaned as she got up to answer the door, blowing on her mug while she walked. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw who was standing outside of the apartment.

"Brett?" she exclaimed. "What are you guys doing here?"

It was obvious from the way Ray's band members were dressed and holding various instruments that they were ready for a show. Great, Ray was probably late, and they were going to yell at her for not waking him up or something. Like she was his mother…

"We're here to get Ray. We've got a gig in an hour. He said we could stop by. Didn't he tell you?"

Neela worked her mouth for a moment before stepping aside so they could file in. "No, he didn't."

There was no surprise there. She hurried over to the TV where her romance movie was still playing and shut it off. She realized in dismay that the apartment was a mess, and she looked like a mess.

"Ray!" She turned to the bathroom door and knocked on it. Ray came out, dressed for his night at the bar. She spied a familiar bottle in his hand as he emerged. "Hey, is that mine?" she asked, plucking the bottle of black nail polish from his freshly painted nails.

"It was in the bathroom cabinet that we share. It was fair game," he argued with a smirk.

Neela rolled her eyes and tucked it into her pocket. It was pretty bad when she had to hide her nail polish and sometimes makeup from her male roommate. It was even worse when he looked better with it on than she did. "You could have at least asked," she responded, crossing her arms. "Have fun at your gig or whatever it is."

She made her way back to the couch with every intention of watching romances for the rest of the evening and relaxing. She deserved it, just like she knew he needed to go kick ass on stage. She hoped this would be what would finally restore the Ray she knew completely.

"You're not coming?"

His hurt tone made her pause, and when she turned to face him; he was in full puppy dog mode. Damn, why was he so cute when he did that? Despite being tired from working all day, and a tiny bit angry at him for not warning her that his friends were stopping by, she found she couldn't resist his hopeful look. "Fine, I'll come," she agreed. "I'll call Abby, and we'll stop by together."

"Awesome!" He swung his guitar case over his shoulder and smiled wide enough that she thought his face would crack. Who knew something that simple could make him that happy. "I'll see you there."

She waved good bye half heartedly as he left with his friends. His friends were all grinning at her, like they knew something she didn't. Neela tugged at her hospital scrubs, which she had yet to change out of, subconsciously even after they left. When she reached for the phone nearby though, the light saying there was an unheard message was blinking. Frowning, she pressed the play button. She didn't recall having heard the phone ring. It must have been while Ray was sleeping. An unfamiliar voice came from the machine.

"Ray, honey, it's your mom again. You're not answering your cell, so I figured you've misplaced it again. I'm afraid I don't have very much good news. I should be able to leave the hospital soon, but your father's still in a coma. The doctors are saying it doesn't look good right now. I'll call you back if anything changes. Have hope, and I hope you can come down sometime soon and see us."

The message ended at that. Short and simple, but it made Neela freeze in shock. Ray had never mentioned that his parents were in the hospital, or that his dad was not doing well. In a way, she felt as if she was invading his privacy by listening to the message, but another part of her was glad to see what looked to be the root of his troubling mood over the last month now. It seemed that things had been piling up for him for a couple of weeks now, and it hadn't been good things. Remorse swept through her. She wished she had known so she could had least been there for him, supported him some.

In a much more somber mood, she dialed Abby's number. She was determined to go to his gig now whether Abby was going with her or not.

* * *

TBC.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Once again I am thanking everyone that is supporting this story. I really love you all :). I'm glad to hear that almost everyone said they weren't expecting what happened in the last chapter.

Extra Disclaimer/warning: I do not own ER. Also, there is more some talk of rape at the very end of this chapter. Nothing graphic, but I feel obligated to warn everyone.

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The bar was more crowded then Neela had thought it would be, but the atmosphere and alcohol seemed to be just what she needed to relax. With Abby at her side, Neela was seated at the bar when the crowd began to cheer wildly. Heavy music began to fill the air and she heard Abby chuckle beside her.

"Now I know what everyone is talking about."

Neela turned to see what Abby was referring to and found Ray's band on stage. Her eyes were instantly glued to him, and she found herself wondering if he ever ran out of energy. The music pulsed through the bar, through the people dancing, and vibrated through Neela. The crowd loved them.

Neela got to her feet as the first song ended, screaming and cheering with everyone else. Abby was jumping up and down beside her, looking like a teenager again instead of a prestigious doctor. Neela was hoarse by the time his band left the stage, and she took a few sips of her beer to wet her throat. She was fairly certain nothing could ever rid her of the image of him rocking out on stage. His voice behind her made her jump.

"Hey, I'm glad you came."

He slid onto the stool next to her and ordered a beer. He was smiling charmingly at her, and she noticed with a wrinkle of her nose that his shirt was sticking to his body from sweating.

"I said I would," she responded causally, brushing off the sincerity behind his words then added, "I'm glad I did. You put on a great show." Neela couldn't help smiling as well when his face instantly lit up at her compliment.

"You were awesome, Ray," Abby added and Neela suppressed a laugh when she saw the blond was practically drooling over the next band that had gotten on the stage. Ray's smile wouldn't be leaving for a long time now, Neela was sure.

She tapped her nails against her glass as she watched him down his own beer quickly. The band that was now playing was much softer than Ray's band had been. Ray shifted in his seat for a moment before turning to her.

"Dance with me?" he said in a little bit of a rush, looking hopeful that she would accept. Neela looked warily out in the dim bar to the many other couples dancing.

"I…"

Abby nudged her hard in the ribs, and Neela blurted out. "Sure!" She threw a glare at Abby over her shoulder, and Abby gave her thumbs up in return. "You know, I can't dance very well," she informed him with a hint of nervousness.

She was glad for the darkness of the dancing area as she faced him. She was certain she was blushing as she felt Ray put his hands on her waist. She automatically reached for his shoulders, sliding her hands up behind his neck. The doctor in her frowned at the sticky and feverish feel of his skin, but she knew it was only because he had just come off stage.

"I can't either," he confessed. "But it can't be that hard."

He sounded pretty confident so she followed his steps, trying not to crush his toes with her heels. She wasn't sure if they were actually dancing or just sort of swaying back and forth. Either way it did not matter to her because she simply enjoyed being close to him, feeling him near her.

_Oh, why the hell not. _She leaned closer, resting her head against his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat.

A distinctly feminine voice reached her ears now, and she wondered when the bands had changed because she didn't recall it happening. Had they really been dancing that long? Neela pulled back from Ray to look for Abby at the bar, but couldn't see her. Ray looked down at her questioningly, but she avoided his eyes.

"Ray…I saw a message on our phone from your mother…" she started to say. There was a remarkable shift in tension between them, but before he could say anything she continued, "I don't know what is going on, but I'm really sorry."

He forced a short laugh. "It's not like it's your fault that any of this shit happened."

"No, but I'm still your friend if you need me," she protested. Neela didn't want to argue with him, and she could tell from his body language that he was getting defensive. Maybe the situation was still too fresh in his mind for him to talk about.

On a whim, she stood on her tip-toes and pressed a brief kiss to his lips. He responded softly, leaning his forehead against hers, most of the previous anger evaporating from him.

"If you need anything…" she whispered, trailing off and leaving the rest unspoken.

They stayed locked closely and probably intimately to anybody who could see them, for a couple more minutes. She longed to stay there all night; one of his hands was on her spine, fingers tracing the vertebrae up her back and one of her hands was stroking his hair away from the back of his neck.. She opened her eyes, searching his face worriedly, but his eyes were closed.

"Are you sure you're all right?" He was going to get angry if she kept asking. She couldn't help herself. None of this would happen like this on a normal day. On a normal day, they wouldn't be this close, and they could never be without him making suggestive remarks to try and get her to sleep him with him.

"Neela, I'm fine. I promise," he sighed. "And I'm…sorry I drug you into all of this." He finally opened his eyes, meeting her concerned gaze. She shook her head.

"You didn't…" She forced a smile. "What are roomies for?" Neela caught a glance of her watch and couldn't believe how much time had flown by. It was after eleven at night. "I should probably go," she whispered. Neela hated to leave him now, but if she didn't get some sleep then would be cranky tomorrow. "I have to work at six."

He nodded, swallowing hard, before finding his voice. "Yeah, of course."

"I'll see you later, okay?" she replied, hesitating to break contact with him.

"Yeah. Night, Neela."

It seemed awkward now that they were apart. She wished him a good night as well before leaving with Abby slowly. He watched her make her way through the crowd. She glanced back once or twice before he lost sight of her. A friendly slap on the back brought him back to the present. Brett smiled at him, a beer clutched in one hand.

"Don't look so gloomy, man. Have a drink with me. I found some hot chicks who want to meet you."

For whatever reason, meeting new groupies didn't seem appealing to him tonight.

"You know what, Brett? I'm going to retire early tonight. Enjoy your company."

Brett looked dumbfounded before a grin crossed his face. He raised his beer to Ray's retreating back. "Thanks, man!"

*****************

_A Few Days later…_

Their apartment door slammed shut, and there was the sound of Neela dropping her keys and purse on the floor. No doubt they would be scrambling around tomorrow, looking for them. There was silence besides that so Ray looked over the back of the couch to see what was wrong. She was leaning against the door, head buried in her hands.

"Bad day at work?" Ray inquired even though her body language made that obvious.

He pushed the mute button on the TV remote as Neela dropped onto the couch beside him. She reached for a water bottle sitting on the coffee table and took a sip. Neither of them really knew whose it had been, but she didn't care at this point. She wanted to answer his question with something along the lines of 'you wouldn't believe how bad it was', but he did know. He had worked shifts that had been as bad as hers. Hell, she had shared some with him.

"Horrible. Bloody horrible," she finally answered. "Spent a couple of hours working on a rape case. The poor girl was sixteen or seventeen. Her bloody disgusting boyfriend forced her to have sex. Not once, twice."

Ray winced sympathetically for not only Neela, but the young girl as well. He had only done a few of the rape exams himself. The victims were usually always young, innocent women, and it made his blood boil in anger every time he saw them. If it was in his power, he would personally kill the men who had harmed them that way and made them cower in fear from him. He usually didn't have to do a lot of the cases, however, because he was a male. Not only did the women sometimes fear him, they preferred to talk to a doctor of their own gender.

"How can men be such pigs?! He forced himself on her, and then made her believe it was her fault!" Neela was staring at him hard enough to make him squirm. It was as if she was looking for some genetic flaw or reason for men's cruelty. Her expression softened after a moment. "I'm sorry, Ray. It's not your fault. I'm just upset."

"You're right to be," he said right away. "How is she doing now?"

"Better than before. I sat with her for probably an hour and let her talk to me. She's not pregnant, thankfully, but the things she described to me…" Neela felt thick tears gathering in her eyes and choking her up. She had suppressed her own tears in front of the teen, and now they were all rushing forward.

"Hey, come here, roomie."

Ray held his arm to her, and she curled into his side, tears falling silently down her cheeks. The tears were staining his t-shirt, and she was holding onto him as if he would suddenly leave. Their position was ironically reversed from over a month prior.

"You know the same goes for you, right? If you need anything, you can come to me," he said, turning the words she had used on him, back on her.

Neela nodded against his chest as her shoulders continued to shake from the force of her sobs. She realized she was lucky to have him not only as a friend, but a roommate. He wasn't going to leave her high and dry; she trusted him that much now. A couple of months ago that would had sounded like something he'd do. Now was different than then. Now they had been through too much together to abandon each other.

* * *

TBC. Don't worry too much. There is lots more sad stuff coming, I promise. There's a lot of story left. Anyone excited or is it just me?


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This is kind of a "filler" chapter. I hate to call it that, but pretty much the plot doesn't advance in it a lot. I was trying to show their relationship improving and balance the angst with some happy stuff. Anyway, the next chapter will actually be a tiny bit sad because it advances the plot.

Once again thank you to all my reviewers :) You guys are awesome, and I look forward to anything you have to say about the story.

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It was times like this that Ray wished one of them knew how to cook. It was ten o'clock in the morning, and he was scrounging around for a bowl to put his Lucky Charms in. Neither of them had done the dishes last night…or for god knows how long. Ray rubbed the sleep from his eyes and was just going to eat the cereal from the box when he spied a bowl on the coffee table.

"Ah ha!" he exclaimed. He picked up and inspected it. It looked fairly clean. He shrugged, ran some water in it, swished it around and dumped it out before putting his cereal in. Just as he plopped down on the couch and turned on the news, Neela came out of her bedroom with a pile of laundry.

"This apartment is disgusting. Beyond disgusting. We're cleaning today," she announced, dumping her clothes in a basket to take to the laundry mat. Usually Neela could care less what shape their apartment was in, but about once a month she got an urge to clean it. "Get your clothes too, so I can take these down," she instructed before grabbing garbage off the coffee table. She didn't look at any of the garbage that was piled high, just swept it into the trash.

"Come on, Ray, move it!" she ordered in full boss mode, pushing his feet off the coffee table where he had propped them up. "If anyone saw this, they would think pigs lived here."

Ray stuffed the rest of the cereal in his mouth and headed for his room. Neela took the empty bowl from his hands as he passed by, piling it on top of the mountain of the rest of the dirty dishes. They would get to them later.

Neela returned to cleaning off the coffee table. There was take out leftovers from at least a week ago, mail, and beer cans littering the table. It wasn't too surprising since they usually ate dinner on the couch. Everything went in the garbage except the mail because there were a few bills there to pay. When Ray brought his clothes out and put them in the basket with hers, she tossed the bills to him.

"Write out checks for these then take the laundry down," she said as he caught the mail. He stared at her in disbelief, and she quickly corrected herself. "On second thought, I'll do laundry-you'll probably mess it up. You can, however…"

Ray watched her practically sprint to the other side of the room, pull open their closet and rummage around. After a moment, she revealed a sweeper. "That's all yours too. Try to have it done by the time I get back. Can you remember that? Bills and sweep."

His idea of a relaxing day off of work quickly vanished. "Neela…"

"No buts!" she cut him off, picking up the basket with all their laundry. "I'll help you with your room when I'm done, but I'm not touching anything without gloves."

"I was just going to ask if you had a Red Bull for breakfast!" He called after her as she disappeared out of the door. Neela rolled her eyes and shut the door, leaving him with the bills in one hand and sweeper in the other.

Writing the checks were easy enough and sweeping wasn't all that challenging either. Whatever crumbs he missed were conveniently pushed under the couch or kitchen cupboards. When he was done, the living room looked fairly nice in his opinion. This cleaning thing was simple. Ray was humming merrily to himself until he opened the door to his bedroom. The tune died on his lips and all sense of accomplishment fled him.

It looked like a tornado had gone through his room. He glanced back to Neela's room where the door was half-open. Her room was the exact opposite. It was neat and clean. He cracked his neck and launched into the task. He started pushing everything to one corner or into the closet so it looked like he straightened up, and he tossed the covers over his bed to make it look like he made it. As he was shutting his now bursting closet door and leaning against it to ensure it stayed shut, Neela popped her head in the room.

"Wow, Ray, you've actually done a lot!" Neela exclaimed, sounding impressed.

She was carrying an armful of his now clean clothes and sat them on his bed. They would probably stay there until he got around to wearing them. He didn't see the use of putting away things he would just be getting out again soon.

"Now, all we've got is dishes, and this place will actually seem presentable again."

She sounded satisfied by their work, and he was glad at least one of them was happy. He knew for a fact the apartment would be a mess again in a week.

"I wash, you dry and stack?" she offered.

"Deal."

Washing all their dishes took the longest out of everything, and they made a mess of it while they worked. Both of them were soaked by the time they were done. Neela couldn't resist splashing Ray with water until he got fed up and grabbed the soap bottle. Before she could protest, he squeezed it and thousands of bubbles spewed out. While she was blinded by the thick cloud, he put his hands in the water and splashed her in return. She had apparently started a war.

"Ray!" she shrieked as she hopped through the rapidly growing puddles on the kitchen floor. Water continued to hit her square in the back.

"You started it," he answered in an amused tone.

Waving her hand to disperse the bubbles, she could see the huge grin on his face. He was just as wet as her, complete with soap clinging to his hands and shirt. Ray held up his hands in a sign of peace before taking a step toward her. She didn't particularly like the way his grin wasn't fading.

"I'd really like a hug, Neela."

Her mouth popped open and she scrambled back away from him. "Oh, no, Ray. You've got another mess to clean up while I go change clothes." When he didn't reply to her, she bolted toward her room, but he caught her easily.

"Ray! Don't you dare…!" She was cut off as his arms wrapped around her, and she found herself more soaked then before. "I can't believe you," she added when he released her.

The doorbell ringing caught them both off guard, and Neela opened it to find their elderly neighbor staring with wide eyes at the mess now displayed to her.

"Oh, my…" she simply said. Ray was standing sheepishly in the middle of the mess. He offered her a small wave.

"Hello, Mrs. Rosaline. Nice to see you again," he said.

"Here I was thinking someone was being hurt from all the commotion over here," she replied. "But I see that's not the case."

Neela cleared her throat, feeling a blush creeping up into her cheeks. "We're really sorry, Mrs. Rosaline. We'll be quieter."

"Oh, it's no problem, my dear," the elder woman replied, patting Neela's arm and leaning close with a wink. "Young women like yourself need to have some fun. Do carry on."

Before Neela had a chance to respond, Mrs. Rosaline's husband shouted across the hall to them. "So, what's going on over there?"

"Nothing!" Mrs. Rosaline called back. "The youngsters are having some fun together!" Mrs. Rosaline left with a brief good bye, seeming eager to leave them alone again. Neela stood rooted to the spot.

"What a sick old woman! She took all of this completely the wrong way!" Neela exclaimed before shutting the door.

"I wonder if she interrupts the neighbor's on the second floor when they are carrying on," Ray thought aloud, and Neela had to clap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing. The second floor neighbors were always carrying on at night…loudly. The idea of Mrs. Rosaline interrupting their not too innocent play time was beyond hilarious.

Both Ray and she went to their separate bedrooms to change their clothes before spending a good ten minutes mopping the kitchen floor.

"Finally," Neela said as she straightened up. Her back was aching already, and it cracked loud enough to make her wince. She had pulled her hair back into a hasty ponytail and pushed the loose strands out of the way. "I've got to mail those checks. They're probably late already. I was thinking about going for a jog through the park on the way there."

"Sure, I'll come," he responded without missing a beat. It had been a long time since they could go out and exercise. The weather had been more than crappy since winter was on their doorstep. Neela was ready to take advantage of these last few decent days.

"Are you sure? You don't have to, you know."

"No, I'm going."

"Great, give me five minutes," Neela said, disappearing into her bedroom once more.

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Neela drew in a deep breath of fresh air as she set the pace. She wasn't the only one with the same idea today; there were many other joggers outside with them. Ray had changed into his "exercise" clothes as well which consisted of a t-shirt, hoddie, and sweatpants. The clothes were very bland next to what he usually wore. He had said he didn't want to look over dressed next to her. She had frowned down at her tank top and track pants before pulling on a jean jacket.

The post office was fairly early in their jog, but they continued along a path many other people were taking this afternoon. Ray had been silent up until a couple of minutes ago, then had had begun to hum. He was still keeping pace with her even though she was going slower than usual.

"You don't have to stay back here with us slow people," she threw out after listening to him hum for ten minutes. Who needed an iPod?

"What's the point of coming with you if I'm not actually with you?" he answered casually.

Neela was touched that he came just to keep her company. That and she knew he loved to go for jogs. It was probably because he needed some way to expel the energy he saved up from all those sugar foods he ate. They continued on in silence. Well, silence on her part. Ray was full out singing beside her, earning them weird looks from the people they passed. She smiled politely at them, used to Ray drawing attention.

"Hey, roomie, you know what I was thinking?"

Oh, boy, this is going to be intelligent, she thought to herself. "What Ray?" she asked aloud.

"The last one to the diner at the corner has to buy lunch!" he said in a rush before racing off.

"That's not fair!" she yelled after him before breaking into a run. She prepared herself for her fate before she got there though. Even if she would have had a head start, he would have still won. He had the advantage of being quite a bit taller than her, and he could outrun her any day. Lunch was on her today.

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TBC. I hope that wasn't dragging things out too much. I promise the next chapter has to do with the plot.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Not much to say this time…except enjoy the chapter. I even got it uploaded a day earlier than usual.

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That night, Neela was awoken by sounds of Ray making a commotion in his room. She rolled onto her side to look at the clock. The red numbers glowed the time of 2:30 in the morning. She knew Ray's shift didn't start until six. She lay still for a moment, thinking perhaps he had simply got up to get a drink and was heading back to bed.

There was a muffled curse as he continued on into the living room. Neela decided to see what was going on while she went to get a drink for herself. With a yawn, she wrapped a blanket around herself and ventured out into the living room. She was shocked to see Ray in front of an open suitcase and was stuffing clothes into it.

"Ray?" she asked in disbelief, her voice cracking from just waking up. Was he leaving and moving out in the dead of night without telling her? Why would he be leaving her?

"Neela!"

Ray whirled around to face her, a shirt in one hand, pants in another, and a piece of paper in his mouth. Her name was slightly muffled because of the paper, but the guilty expression on his face was easily recognizable. His phone vibrated on the table, and he looked at it helplessly.

Neela closed the distance between them and pulled the paper from Ray's mouth, unable to force out the words to ask why he was leaving. He threw the clothes down and grabbed his cell phone, flipping it open, and pressing it to his ear. She didn't pay attention to his conversation as he turned his back to her. She instead opened the note that she realized was addressed to her, quickly scanning down through it.

_Neela,_

_I can't explain now, but I have to leave for a while. I will call you as soon as I can. It's rather urgent, or I would wait until morning and tell you in person._

_Ray_

Neela looked up with tears gathering in her eyes as Ray snapped his phone shut and turned back to her. She didn't understand.

"Neela, it's not…" He took a step toward her, reaching out for her, but she flung the letter down and backed away.

"What's going on, Ray?" she asked in a flat voice. How can you just bail on me after everything? She added in her head.

"I have to fly home for a little while. It's…my parents. Dad…my dad." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Doctors said he's dying. He only has a few days to live." Ray trailed off, unable to say anymore. Without waiting for her answer, he turned and stuffed his remaining clothes in the suitcase.

His answer hit her like a ton of bricks, and her breath left her in a rush. She had completely overreacted about the wrong thing, but now wasn't the time to apologize. She could do that later. Right now, he needed her support more. Neela went over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged her away, but when his eyes met hers, he saw her devastated expression.

"You shouldn't go alone," she whispered, leaning in close to help him zip his overflowing suitcase.

"Kerry will never let you off work too, Neela. She barely understood that I had to go, but she won't accept your reason."

"I don't care if she approves or not," Neela argued. "You need me." She watched him disappear into his bedroom to retrieve his guitar. He wouldn't go on a trip without it.

"I'm not a little kid. I can handle being alone," he commented without looking at her.

"Doesn't mean you should be."

Silence reigned thickly for a moment and he straightened up, meeting her gaze squarely.

"You've always been there for me," she added, not pulling her gaze away from his own, holding it with determination. She wasn't backing down from this fight. He would never let her stand alone if something like this happened to her. It was only fair to do the same for him.

"How fast can you pack?" he asked, releasing a breath of defeat. He wasn't in the frame of mind to argue with her. She was going to win this one, and probably gloat about it later.

"If you help, ten minutes. I'll call County when we're at the airport. They'll understand."

Ray didn't look as confident as she sounded, but he didn't say anything as he followed her into her bedroom. She pulled a suitcase from under her bed and threw it on top of her bed.

"Grab a bunch of my clothes and throw them in," she instructed. "I'll gather my stuff from the bathroom.

Neela hurried from the room and Ray pulled open her closet, almost laughing at how organized her belongings were. He grabbed an assortment of clothes and stuffed them in her suitcase. Shirts, t-shirts, pants, shorts, underwear, sweatshirts-it all went in the suitcase without him really taking the time to see exactly what he was putting in. It didn't matter anyway; he had done her laundry before just like she had done his. Now definitely wasn't the time to daydream about how good she would look in the skirt he just put in.

Neela returned to her bedroom with a bag of her makeup and various other bathroom items. She smirked as she saw Ray trying to fold her clothes somewhat neatly into her suitcase. She added her bag to the pile and helped him finish her clothes. While she was in the bathroom, she had changed into everyday clothes and was currently racking her brain to see if she forgot anything vital. They rushed out into the living room.

Ray slung his guitar case over his shoulder and picked up his suitcase before looking around for the keys. Neela spied them on the coffee table and snatched them.

"Heads up!"

He caught them easily when she tossed them to him. All of their luggage was tossed into the back seat of the car, and they were leaving the apartment moments later.

"Not bad. Seven and a half minutes," Ray joked, trying to soften the tension that was clinging heavily to the air between them. The joke didn't reach his face, however. He was frowning instead of his usual smirk and the deep lines in his forehead gave away how anxious he was. When street lights lit up the interior of the car, Neela could see how hard Ray's hands were clenching the steering wheel.

Carefully, so not to upset his driving, she reached across to him and pried his right hand from the wheel. He allowed her to tug it across to her own seat and into her lap. Neela could feel his pulse racing under her light touch, but she clasped his hand between her own, intertwining their fingers.

"I'm here for you," she whispered simply, watching him closely. No it's okay or it was going to be okay-just the absolute truth and the only thing she could be completely certain of. His eyes strayed to hers briefly, and his fingers tightened in response to hers before his eyes returned to the road.

"Thanks," he answered sincerely. She rubbed the skin of his hand softly, not releasing him as she leaned her head back against the headrest. It would be at least fifteen minutes before they pulled into the airport.

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Neela barely recalled stumbling into the airport at three in the morning with their things or lying down on a bench to wait for their flight and falling asleep. When she awoke, she could smell two things strongly: coffee and the cologne she had come to associate with Ray. The airport sounded busy to her, and her ears also detected a familiar humming. She sighed, gripping whatever was soft beneath her head tighter, and almost allowed herself to be tugged back toward sleep. Her ten hour shift at the hospital and only three hours of sleep was dragging her down.

Slowly, groggily, she forced her eyes open and saw the airport had in fact gotten busier. She realized as she started to sit up that Ray had draped his jacket over top of her and managed to get his sweatshirt underneath her head while she slept.

"Rise and shine. Need a pick me up?" Ray asked, holding his rather large cappuccino out for her to see. "This is my third one."

Neela smothered a yawn with her hand and shoved her arms through the sleeves of Ray's jacket when a chill swept through her body. "Coffee sounds great, and I'm going to call County." She picked up his sweater and held it out to him with a small smile.

"Was trying to spare you from waking up with lines on your face," Ray explained.

"Thanks," she answered just as easily. "How long until we need to get ready for our flight?"

He glanced toward the watch on his right wrist. "Fifteen minutes or so."

Neela bought a coffee from the place Ray pointed out, and one sip from the refreshing liquid made her feel more awake and the challenge of convincing Kerry didn't seem so out of her reach anymore. She hoped with all her might as she dialed the number on her cell that she could talk to someone other than Kerry. To her relief, Susan answered the phone.

She explained the situation and with a little bit of persuasion, and forfeiting her Christmas vacation, she was off scot free. She flipped her cell phone shut with a satisfied smile and made a brief stop at the ladies' restroom before going back to the bench where Ray was waiting. In the short amount of time that she had been gone, Ray had found a mini-bag of chips, and they devoured them while they waited in line at security.

"Ugh, do you realize how many calories these have?" she asked, trying to look at the bag, but Ray kept turning it away conveniently. "But they're so good." Neela sounded torn as she wiped the spices from her fingers.

"Really, Neela, you've got to live a little. You can't eat only Special K for the rest of your life," he replied, dumping the last of the crumbs into his mouth before crumbling up the bag. What a way to start a morning, she mused to herself as she put her luggage up to be scanned. Three large cappuccinos and a bag of chips. She would definitely be fat by the time they came back to Chicago.

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Their flight to Baton Rouge was uneventful luckily. Neela wasn't extremely fond of planes and didn't want to make a fool out of herself by getting nervous. Somehow, even after three coffees, Ray put his headphones in and slept. Before he passed out, he had offered her an ear bud with a, "You wanna listen too?" She had declined and within a few minutes he was sleeping soundly. Neela couldn't sleep, and she spent most of the flight avoiding looking out the window.

She amused herself by playing games on her own Ipod and poking Ray in the ribs to see if she could wake him up. Unbelievably, he never even shifted in his sleep, let alone wake up. Part of the way into the flight, she got a text message from Abby.

_I didn't hear all the details, but Susan told me you and Ray had to leave. Hope everything's okay._

Neela typed a quick reply that she would call Abby tonight when she knew more, and then snapped the phone shut. Abby's message made her realize that she barely knew what was going on herself. She glanced over at Ray again; his head was angled toward her as he slept.

Her stomach was suddenly tying itself in knots and she closed her eyes, cursing her air sickness.

"Would you like some water, miss? You're looking a little green," the flight attendant offered, holding a glass out to her.

"Thank you." Neela took it with a forced smile. She never got motion sickness in a car no matter how long the ride. Planes were a different story for her. She took a sip of the water and rested her head against Ray's shoulder. The voice in her head convinced her that she was subjecting herself to this torture for a good cause.

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TBC. Please leave a comment :) I improve from hearing about what you think.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I want to thank everyone for the reviews for the last chapter. I estimate there are about four more chapters. I'm not quite sure though.

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"It's not what I expected," Neela commented as they stepped out of the airport and into Baton Rouge.

"What did you expect?" Ray questioned as he put on his sunglasses. Neela opened her purse to retrieve her own pair. They were going to the car they had rented-actually Ray had rented. After they had landed, Neela had disappeared into the bathroom to freshen up a little, and Ray had gone to rent the car. He had kept it a big secret as to what kind of car he had rented though.

"I don't know. Insane amounts of sun, crazy people."

"It is rather gloomy today," he agreed, searching his pockets for his car keys. "As for the crazy people-go back to Chicago. More specifically County General." He found the keys and pressed a button on the remote.

"I'm so telling Abby you just insulted…" Neela trailed off as she saw the car whose lights flashed in response as it unlocked. Her mouth dropped open a little.

"You rented a mustang?"

"A red mustang," he emphasized as he pulled open the passenger's side door for her. "I wanted to drive in style for a while. Beats our trashy car at home, huh?" He added as he slid into the driver's side.

"How much did this cost?" Neela asked as she looked in amazement at the leather interior.

"Oh no, I'm not telling," Ray answered with a mysterious smile. "We'll leave it at this is only a once in a life time thing. Enjoy it while it lasts."

Neela could imagine it wasn't cheap and going back to her old car after this wasn't gong to be easy.

"Do you mind if we go to the hospital first instead of the house?" Ray asked.

"Doesn't matter," Neela replied, looking out of her window, drinking in sights of the land. Despite the sun being partially hidden behind clouds today, there was still a ton of people milling about everywhere.

They drove straight to the hospital where his mother was staying. It was a half an hour trip made in relative silence. Neela couldn't find the nerve or the words to ask Ray exactly what was going on, and it seemed every second they got closer to the hospital, he got tenser. Neela reminded herself that she was only here for support and he would tell her what was going on when he wanted to. She wasn't going to interferer with his personal life.

When they arrived and headed into the hospital, Neela felt nervous. She thought she would feel comfortable in a hospital setting since she had worked in one for years, but she felt her heart begin to pound as they approached the glass doors. Maybe it was just Ray emitting those vibes to her, but whatever it was, she couldn't shake it off. Without really thinking about it, Neela reached over and grabbed Ray's hand. When he looked at her in surprise, she merely smiled weakly back.

The receptionist looked up at them kindly, forcing Neela to wonder if they really looked that worried.

"We're here to see Jacey Barnett," Ray spoke up and the woman consulted her computer to look the patient up. Neela's mind was running different things that receptionist could possibly tell them: they were too late, they couldn't see her, she was in intensive care, she was in surgery, or she was…The minute drug on forever.

"She's not up to seeing many visitors, sir. Are you closely related?" the receptionist inquired. She adjusted her glasses on her nose, fixing them with a sharp stare.

"I'm her son," Ray answered.

"I see," the woman said sympathetically as her eyes went back to the computer. "She's in room 220 on the second floor."

Ray barely got out a thank you before he was tugging Neela quickly toward the elevator. The receptionist didn't have any time to ask who Neela was.

"Should I wait outside the room?" Neela asked when they reached the right door. Ray had paused as if suddenly unsure of what he was doing.

"No, come with me," he said before pushing the door open with his free hand. Neela swallowed hard and tried not to hide behind Ray as they entered.

There was only a single bed in the simple white room and a woman with blond hair was sitting upon it, reading a magazine. The TV mounted on the wall was tuned to the local news channel, but put on mute. When she turned her head to look at her visitors, Neela released Ray's hand so he could go over to her. Neela found herself thinking how Ray must take after his father because there weren't any major resemblances between the two.

"Ray!" she exclaimed, clearly glad to see him. Her voice gave out some when she spoke though, and she began coughing when Ray hugged her. He pulled away quickly and handed her a glass of water that was sitting on the table beside her.

"Thank you, dear," she whispered, patting Ray's shoulder. Neela hung back a little ways as Ray drug a chair over to the bed, but Jacey spotted her anyway.

"Ray, who did you bring with you?" she asked as Ray took the glass back from her. Ray beckoned Neela over, and she came to stand behind Ray's chair.

"One of my best friends. She works with me in the ER. Neela Rasgotra," Ray replied warmly, and Neela found herself shaking the elder lady's hand.

"How very nice to meet you," Jacey said and Neela nodded in return, looking embarrassed. She couldn't believe herself. It was only his mother and it wasn't like she was Ray's girlfriend.

"Mom, what happened?" Ray asked, leaning carefully forward on the bed. Neela instantly began checking Jacey over from a doctor's viewpoint. Jacey had an IV and was connected to a heart monitor, but other then that she didn't look too bad. Either Ray's eyes were sharper, or it was because he was sitting closer because he made observations that she did not. "It looks like you have a lot of bruises."

"Bad car accident. The driver of the other car was drunk from what they have told me. Your father got the worst of it. The doctors kept talking about internal bleeding and stuff. Sorry, you medical geniuses ramble about things the rest of us don't understand. I'm doing better now, but he's in a coma. Ray…" Jacey trailed off, looking away from her son and reaching out to squeeze his arm. "The doctors…don't think he's doing too well."

"People have come out of comas months after they lose consciousness. It's only been a couple weeks…" Ray protested, but it died on his lips as his mother began shaking her head.

"I told you I don't understand everything they're telling me, but they made it clear that they don't think he has much of a chance of ever waking up. I called you so you could see him one last time."

Ray didn't say anything for a long time, bowing his head, not looking at anything but the floor. Neela was at loss as to what to say. She felt her throat constricting as she watched him stay hunched over in his chair.

"Mrs. Barnett, I'm soo very sorry," she finally whispered. Jacey managed a weak smile for her.

"How did it happen?" Ray asked suddenly, referring to the car accident.

Jacey sighed, shaking her head again. "It's not something I want to talk about right now. Go see him, and if you want to go home, the key's under the flower pot like anyways."

"I'll see you soon then," he whispered, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. She gave him a short hug in return.

"Rest well, Mrs. Barnett," Neela said politely before she followed Ray out of the room.

Once the door closed behind them, Ray leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest. Not caring if anyone thought they were crazy, Neela sat Indian style in front of him.

"Ray," she said softly, leaning toward him, resting her elbows on her knees. He didn't look up, instead bringing his arm around his legs and pulling them tighter into his chest.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked, his voice muffled. Any other time she would have laughed at the idea of him asking her for advice. Not today.

"I don't know what to tell you besides that you have to go see him. I will wait for you in the lobby, okay?" There was no confirmation from Ray. Neela felt like she was in over her head. She didn't know what to say. "Listen, I wish I could tell you that it's going to get better and that life will go on, but I can't." She paused for another moment, but there was still no acknowledgement from him. She wondered if he was even listening. "I know if I was in your position, I wouldn't want to hear someone say that to me. All I can do is keep repeating what I promised earlier-that I'd be here for you. I feel so completely helpless right now."

Several long moments passed and Neela ignored the nurses that passed by before Ray pulled his head up and leaned it back against the wall. Neela got to her feet slowly, holding out a hand to him. He stared at it for a moment before accepting it, allowing her to help him to his feet. He took the opportunity to step closer to her and kiss her forehead.

"I'm glad you're here."

Neela managed to get her arms around him and pull him against her, not about to let go anytime soon. She forgot the world for a moment. There was only him and her, and how unbelievably comfortable it was to be holding each other.

"We're scaring the nurses," he said lightly, forcing a joke.

"I don't care," she replied with all seriousness.

She pulled back, and somehow he gave her a smile. Not his usual smirk, but a nice soft smile.

"I'll meet you downstairs, okay? Take your time." He nodded in response this time, and she left slowly.

When he came back into the lobby, she pretended not to notice the fact that he was fighting tears, quietly offering to drive to his house. He passed the keys over without hesitation, while making a comment about how she had to promise not to hurt his car. After they set out from the hospital, he rested his head against the window, and she said nothing as the tears broke loose and streamed down his face. She spent the drive listening to his ragged breaths and determinedly not crying too.

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TBC. A little depressing, but I will appreciate anything you have to say about it :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: As always, thank you to kat priestley, Missou64, Historianic, DocRock06, modscho, and LL3andReelaForever whom reviewed the last chapter and the rest of you that stuck with this story so far. I also hope you enjoy this chapter.

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His old home was plain, but nice to look at. She found it rather big since they were used to living in an apartment together. Ray had offered her either his old room or his mom's to crash in when he dumped his suitcase in the middle of the bedroom. Neela told him that she was going to take a short nap, just so she could leave him alone for a little bit. When he left her, the bedroom seemed too quiet.

She used the bathroom attached to the room before she lay down on the bed.

A quick nap was all she needed to feel refreshed, and when she woke up an hour and a half later, she felt much better. Neela yawned and stretched before climbing out of bed. She stubbed her toe on Ray's guitar case which had somehow had already made its way on the floor and in her way. She hopped on her good foot for a moment until the pain passed, cursing him silently.

While doing so, she spotted a familiar board game box sticking out from under his bed. A smile crossed her face, and she took it downstairs with her. Ray was sprawled out across the couch, yelling at the TV, watching a football game.

"You play this game?" Neela inquired curiously, halting beside the arm of the couch.

"Neela, you're awake." He sat up and turned the TV down before frowning at the box she was hugging to herself. "I haven't played Scrabble since elementary school."

"I love Scrabble!" Neela exclaimed. "Let's play."

"You're a nerd," Ray laughed. He didn't know any adults who played Scrabble and liked it.

"Come on, it's fun."

He relented, telling her to set it up while he scrounged for something to eat in the fridge. "You want anything to drink? There's some cans of soda in here," he called back to her, and she thought she heard the microwave door close. She hoped he wasn't trying to cook anything; the house was too nice to burn down.

"Sure," she replied, pulling away from the pictures she was looking at on the mantle above the fireplace. There was a nice long coffee table they could use to set the game up on.

When Ray came back, he was loaded with food, somehow balancing two plates, two mugs, and a bag of chips. Neela jumped up to help him before he dropped it all, making a joke about how he should have been a waiter.

"What did you make?" she asked. Whatever it was smelled appetizing.

"You'll never believe what I found," he answered as she took a plate. "It's pizza. I managed to reheat it."

"Wow." And she sounded genuinely impressed. They weren't rubbery or anything and actually tasted good. He sat down on the floor across from her at the table.

"Are you ready to get your ass kicked?"

"Yeah," she snorted. "Who's the nerd here? I'm so kicking your ass."

"How about a bet if you're so confident then." He was leaning toward her with a challenging smile on his face. She hid her own smile by taking a bite of her food as he thought about the terms. Knowing him, he was thinking the dirtiest thing possible.

"Come on, Ray, I'm not stripping for you or anything."

He frowned before cheering up. "Fine, we'll play nice. If I win, you have to spend an all-nighter on the couch with me watching horror movies." He bit his lips to stop from laughing at the look on her face.

She blanched. Another all-nighter? She had barely survived the first one. She had been dead tired the next day and walked around the hospital like a zombie. It sounded fairly innocent, but she wasn't so sure from the look on his face.

"And if I win," she began. "I get to pick romances like _The Notebook,_ so we can cry together and look like crap the next day."

He laughed briefly at that before putting out his hand to seal the deal. "I doubt I will cry, but you got a deal." They shook, and the game was on.

**********************

Two hours later, the game was still going on, and the chip bag was mostly empty between them. Most of Neela's words were medical, and she ignored some of Ray's more inappropriate ones.

"Nice try, Neela, but 'hungry' is only worth thirteen points, which keeps me in the lead," Ray said, leaning back against the bottom of the couch with a rather smug look. Neela had put 'needle' for the word before that, and it had only given her a pathetic seven points. She looked down at the almost completely full board and cursed. She couldn't make a word anywhere with her tiles, but she was looking carefully again just to be sure.

"Don't be a sore loser," Ray grinned wildly. He had this game bagged up. All he had to do was sit back and wait for her to admit…

"Oh, fine. I can't do anything. You win," she groaned.

"Hell, yeah!" He jumped up as she buried her face in her hands. How had she lost a game of Scrabble to him? Who knew he could even spell correctly?

Ignoring his victory dance, she gathered their empty dishes and took them to the kitchen. Ray helped her clean up before stretching his arms up over his head with a yawn.

"I'm going to jump in the shower. You can always come with me and we can conserve water," he suggested.

"Nice try," Neela replied, pushing him away from her.

She unpacked her own night clothes and relaxed as he disappeared into the bathroom. When she heard the shower turn on, she pulled out her cell phone and prayed it wasn't too late to call Abby. She dialed the number, and Abby answered before the first ring was the whole way out. It was like she was staring at her cell, waiting for it to ring.

"I've been waiting for this call all day!" her friend exclaimed. "Are you both okay? What's going on?"

Neela couldn't hold back the smile that crossed her face at Abby's concerned voice. She missed her already. Apparently Susan had kept their conversation private.

"Calm down, Abby. Both Ray and I are fine." Neela stole a glance at the bathroom as if Ray could somehow hear her conversation. She heard Abby sigh in relief and snatches of Ray singing in the shower in the background.

"Well, did you guys proclaim your love for each other and run off to elope or something?"

Neela completely missed the comment, having zoned out for a moment. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. What's going on?"

"Oh, sorry," Neela apologized, smacking herself in the forehead with the palm of her hand. "Ray's parents are in the hospital. His dad isn't going to make it. That's why he came here. I'm just kinda here for support. It felt wrong to let him come alone."

Surprisingly, Abby backed up her decision, just as understanding as Susan had been. "Oh, no, what happened? I feel terrible."

"I might not be able to explain everything now. I didn't tell Ray I was telling you, and he's in the shower right now. But, they were in a car accident from what I heard."

There was silence on the other side of the phone for a moment. "Oh, wow. I wish there was a way I could help."

"I know. I wish I could do something more too. I'm just kind of here." Neela laughed softly for a moment. "Listen, Abby, there's one more thing before I go." Neela threw another worried glance at the bathroom door as if Ray would suddenly come out and hear everything. The shower had shut off so Neela knew her time to talk freely was rapidly running out.

"Anything. What's up?"

"I think I…" Neela felt herself choking on the words before she could get them out. Just say it already! It's only Abby, and she will take it best out of anyone in the ER. "You're so going to laugh at this." Neela took a deep breath and blurted out the words before they go stuck again. "I think I'm in love with Ray."

Neela cringed through Abby's silence and was shocked by her calm response.

"Good."

"What?!" Neela hardly could believe her ears. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest.

"Everyone at County thinks you two are like together already anyway," Abby continued.

"What?!" Neela couldn't think of anything better to say, but before Abby could elaborate on it further, the bathroom door opened, and Ray came out. He was dressed in one of his band shirts and boxers, drying his hair with a towel and making it stand up in every direction. He chucked the towel back into the bathroom carelessly once he was done with it, and Neela jumped as if she was caught doing something bad.

"Sorry, I got to go. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Good luck!" Neela heard Abby say before she snapped the phone shut. She wasn't entirely sure what Abby meant by that, but she could feel her face turning red. She was glad for her darker skin color.

"Who was that?" Ray asked as he flopped down on his back onto the bed in the opposite space beside her.

"Abby." Neela forced a smile. "She was worried about us. I had to convince her that we weren't drunk and lost or kidnapped."

"Aw, so she does care," Ray replied as Neela headed for the bathroom. He sorted out the covers, climbing underneath them. "Um, Neela…" he added, causing her to pause.

"Yeah?"

"You can…sleep here if you want…stay with me, I mean. So, you don't have to go to my mom's room." He tried to sound causal, shrugging as if it was only for benefit. She knew him too well. She could detect the nervous hitch in his voice that he would murder her for if she told anyone Ray Barnett could be nervous. "Just a suggestion," he finished lamely. There was no grin or playful look to hint he was flirting around with her. He was completely serious.

Neela would be lying to herself if she said the idea of sleeping next to him wasn't appealing. She thought of Abby's words. What the hell. She could at least give him a fair chance.

"Sure," she replied easily. "Do me a favor and set your alarm. Reruns of Poker Tour are on at eight and I don't want to miss it."

His hopeful look changed into an expression she knew better. "You got it."

It didn't take long for her to get changed, brush her teeth, and wash her face, but when she came back into the bedroom, Ray was mostly asleep. It was easy to slip into bed with Ray barely noticing. It wasn't until she settled down in the covers with a sigh that he blinked his eyes open.

"We're going to get a lot of sleep tonight," she commented, knowing they both usually got only four or five hours of sleep on work nights. Sometimes two or three of those hours were naps during the day.

"Not if you don't stop talking," he mumbled, making Neela huff in fake anger.

"Good night then. Don't let me keep you from getting your beauty sleep…you need it." Neela laughed at her own joke, shaking hard enough to shake the rest of the bed. Ray rolled his eyes and turned his back to her.

"When did you become a comedian?" he asked. Neela ignored his sarcastic comment and closed her eyes to sleep. She fell asleep easier than any other night.

* * *

TBC. The next chapter we find out if his dad actually lives or dies.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Many thanks to **BubbleToes94, Historianic, DocRock06, modscho, pacifist, and Missou64** for their reviews on the last chapter! I love hearing from people.

* * *

When Neela awoke, she realized Ray was still asleep beside her, so she figured it must be early. She craned her head to look at the clock. 7:30 am. Ray's alarm would go off in a half an hour. She was surprised she had slept that long, and was willing to wait until he was awake before she moved so she didn't disturb him.

As she dozed, half watching him sleep, she couldn't stop her thoughts from turning to Abby's words again. Everyone thought they should be together before she did? How unfair was that? Neela wondered what Ray thought about her and about their relationship. While contemplating this, she fell back into a light sleep.

It was 8:05am before Neela managed to haul herself out of the nice, cozy bed. To her dismay, Ray was already gone. She had a hazy memory of his alarm going off and him groggily calling for her to get up.

She forced herself up and got changed before clamoring down the stairs. Neela could smell breakfast before she entered the kitchen. The small TV in the kitchen was on and tuned to the World Poker Tour, which was just beginning.

"Morning," Ray called over to her as she slid into one of the stools at the bar type counter. He was standing in front of the oven, trying to skillfully flip the pancakes he was cooking. Instead of using a spatula like any normal person, he was holding the frying pan and flicking his wrist.

"Where did you learn that?" Neela inquired, having never seen him put so much into cooking.

"I'm just winging it," Ray replied casually. Neela helped herself to some coffee which was ready in the maker. She poured two mugs and pushed one to Ray across the counter. He was getting bolder with his flips and looked to be having too much fun with it.

"You better hope you don't drop them on the floor," Neela commented drily before she turned her attention to the TV. "Or you'll be making more."

Ray made a show of carefully putting the pancakes onto a plate and sat it in front of her with a bow. She reached for her fork and dug in.

"And you have no faith in me," he added as he took a seat too.

"Oh, no, Casey's all in," Neela commented, watching the TV intently as she ate. Ray had a look of disbelief on his face while he poured half the bottle of syrup on his pancakes.

"Is she crazy? It's still early in the game."

Casey was their favorite player on the show, but Neela would be the first to admit that Casey wasn't the brightest person at times. Sometimes they both wondered how she had made it this far.

"I can't watch. She's going to lose," Neela groaned, covering her eyes with her free hand, but she was peeking through her fingers a moment later. She had missed the last few episodes of the show and was unsure of what exactly was going to happen.

"No, she might be okay, but it was definitely a risky move."

They were sitting on the edge of their seats, focused completely on the TV.

"Oh, man, she busted," Ray sighed, stabbing his pancakes more forcibly than before.

"I can't believe she lost. I've been rooting her on for forever." Neela looked crestfallen for a minute before finding someone else to root on. All too soon, they were cleaning up and were forced to focus on the task for today-dealing with Ray's mother. They were going back to the hospital to see her sometime and possibly bring her home.

"When do you want to go back and see your mom again?" Neela asked, all mirth gone from her tone. Ray wiped his hands on a dish towel and avoided her eyes for a moment. It was amazing how quickly the mood could shift.

"Soon. I'm going to call the hospital first and see if they can give me information about what happened to my dad," he explained, reaching for his cell phone in his pocket.

"Sure. I'll be in the family room if you need me, okay?" She laid a hand on his arm briefly in comfort before leaving. It was a small gesture of privacy on her part. She took a seat on the couch and heard him open the sliding door in the kitchen that led to the deck.

Five minutes later, Neela was startled by a knocking at the front door. She wondered if she should answer it. After all it wasn't her home. Neela debated with herself until another knock sounded; then she crossed the room and opened the door. A man she did not recognize stood in front of her, and he didn't look happy to see her.

"Hello, can I help you?" she asked warily, but trying to sound polite.

"Is Jacey here?" the man asked, trying to look around her and into the house.

"No, she's not," Neela answered. "But Ray's here. I can get him for you if you wait for a moment." She didn't like the way he was looking at her suspiciously. At the mention of Ray's name, however, he brightened up.

"Ray's home? Hell, get him for me."

When Neela turned to find Ray though, he was already coming up behind her to see who was at the door.

"Danny?" Ray asked in disbelief. "Hey, man, what have you been up to?"

"A lot since you disappeared to Chicago," Danny laughed as they half embraced. Neela closed the door behind him.

"Stick around for a little bit, and we'll catch up," Ray offered, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Danny was nodding as if he liked the idea, so Ray nodded his head in Neela's direction. "This is my friend Neela by the way. She…um…works with me. Neela, this is Danny. Old friend of mine. We grew up together. He lived right across the street."

Danny raised an eyebrow before shaking Neela's hand. "Nice to meet you, and I still do live across the street. The parents bought a different house, and I kept that one," he offered before going over to the couch to sit down. "Look, Ray, I heard about your parents. I was coming over to see how Jacey was doing if she was home from the hospital yet. I'm really, really sorry."

"Yeah, thanks," Ray answered. Neela offered Danny something to drink and went to retrieve it while the two guys talked.

As Neela was bringing the drink back in, their conversation was interrupted by Ray's cell phone ringing, and Ray excused himself to answer it, disappearing into the kitchen. Neela found herself in a slightly awkward situation. She was never good with small talk, and she didn't know this guy.

"So you knew Ray growing up then?" she asked. _Great conversation starter, Neela._

Danny nodded, laughing softly. "Yeah, I'm a few years older than him, but we were still friends. Right up until he left all of a sudden."

"All of a sudden?" Neela knew she should stop while she was ahead, but she kept asking questions.

"His father and he had this falling out. I'm not entirely sure what it was about, but that doesn't mean Ray hates him or anything," Danny explained. "I felt horrible when I heard his father was in coma. I don't know if Ray's even talked to him since he's moved away."

There was a moment of silence, and then Ray came down back from the kitchen, looking grim.

"Who was on the phone?" Neela asked, feeling worry settle in her chest.

"The hospital," Ray answered, flinging his phone down onto the coffee table. "My parents both had to have some minor surgery this morning, and Dad…" He cleared his throat. "Dad passed away, but my mom's in recovery. They said she can come home as soon as tomorrow. The earliest we can even visit is this evening."

"I'm sorry," Neela murmured, crossing her arms, unsure of what to do for him. Ray was shaking off her sympathy with a wave of his hand, but he didn't look directly at her.

"Hey, man, we can talk another time, okay?" Danny said, standing up.

"Sure. I'll call you. It was nice to see you again," Ray offered, looking apologetic, but Danny clapped a hand on Ray's back and was out the door a minute later. The house grew overwhelmingly silent.

Ray came over to where Neela was sitting on the couch and sat down next to her. She didn't know what to say. All she could say was that she was sorry, and he probably didn't want to hear it anymore. She leaned against his shoulder and reached for his hand, clasping it tightly. Ray lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

"Thanks," he murmured. Neela didn't think she deserved thanks, but she took it without a word.

*************************

Ray didn't talk much the rest of the afternoon and once it grew dark out, he said he was going to bed early. Neela took a book up to his room, not wanting to stay downstairs by herself, and sat with the lamp on so she could see. Ray claimed the light wouldn't bother him while he was sleeping.

Though she meant to be reading, she was lost in thought, staring at the bathroom wall when he emerged from the bathroom.

"Is the book that boring?" he asked as he lay down. She laughed it off before returning to her book. He was lying with his back to her, and she had been certain he was asleep when he spoke. "What did Danny tell you about my father?"

"He didn't tell me anything," she replied defensively. "What makes you think he did?"

No luck of getting away with lying. Ray chuckled mirthlessly as if he knew the truth. "You've had a look about you like you thinking pretty hard over something all day. I figured you've been thinking about whatever you two talked about." Ray turned over onto his back, so he could see her face.

She couldn't think of any lie to tell him and didn't want to lie to him anyway.

"It wasn't anything major. He mentioned you and your dad had a falling out."

Ray shrugged as if it wasn't necessarily true. "He was a good dad, but I guess we did sort of had an argument. I think I kind of blew up over it." He smiled somewhat, and Neela was trying to picture a younger Ray getting into a yelling match with his father. "I suppose you want to know what it was about."

"No, you don't have…." She wasn't going to push him into talking about his father this early on especially if it wasn't something that was good.

"Neela, it's written all over your face. It's killing you not to know," he teased. She frowned at him.

"I left Baton Rouge not long after I was done with high school and got into medical school up in Chicago. I sick of how he was always arguing with my mom at the time and always lecturing me. My parents fought about me a lot. Like my decision to go to medical school."

"Lecturing about what?"

Ray was shifting to get comfortable on his back, looking distantly up at the ceiling. Neela wondered if she should be pushing this, and if she wanted to dig this far into his personal life.

"Everything. We argued about everything in my life. My band, the part time job I had. I guess the main thing was this girl I was dating. We had a good, stable relationship. She was from my high school."

Neela cracked a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. "That's hard to believe."

Ray paused for a moment. "My dad wouldn't get off my case about what was going on between us. He kept warning me over and over that if I ended up with a kid that young, I'd ruin my life. I guess he was speaking from experience. Mom had me young and married my father even younger."

Neela frowned, not liking the causal tone he was using to discuss this. She set her book aside. "I don't know how much got through to you."

He smiled a little at that, knowing she was referring to his many "relationships" with girls through the years. "Hey, I didn't get one of them pregnant did I?" he asked. "That's what the main argument was about."

"We're not going to talk about that," Neela replied immediately.

"He meant good by all those lectures though. He wasn't a bad dad," Ray countered, going back to their main topic.

Neela nodded absentmindedly, agreeing with him.

"Since I'm spilling my guts about my life, you could spill yours too just to be fair."

A smile replaced the frown on her lips, and she leaned forward slowly until he raised his head to meet her half-way for a kiss. He didn't say anything when she pulled back, just studying her face intently. The melancholy that had settled in her could only be eased by keeping him close. She was tired of hiding how she felt about him. She wanted to come clean, but didn't know how to say it.

"Not tonight," she answered softly, sliding down to lie flat and slipping her arms around him. Tugging him close, she felt his arms go around her as well, and soon they were lying close to one another.

Tonight she only wanted to comfort and hold him. The three words she wanted to say burned in her mouth, but she couldn't bring herself to spit them out. Maybe now wasn't the time to say it with everything else that had gone on tonight. She comforted herself with those thoughts as she drifted to sleep.

* * *

TBC. I am fairly certain that the next chapter is the last one, so there is going to be a confession for sure :)


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews on the last chapter! That includes reviews from: **Kay20, Historianic, Missou64, DocRock06, kat priestley, pacifist, starryjen, BubbleToes94, and babyshan211**. I was really glad to hear from all of you. Do I say that every time? Ah, well, I mean it!

* * *

When Ray awoke, it was early morning. The clock showed that he should already be on his way to the hospital, but he discovered that he didn't want to move. Neela was curled up against his chest and her dark hair was fanned out near his face, tickling his nose slightly. There was no way that he could move without waking her. This brought him back to the fact that he didn't want to move anyway because he would rather lie here with her than do anything else.

He wallowed in misery for a moment, wondering how long he could keep tormenting himself. They had been good friends for months now, and he would be a fool to say he didn't love her. He would do anything to spend time with her and get closer to her, and then slowly die inside when he didn't see the love he felt reflected back at him.

Misery descended on him as he drank in the sight of her beautiful face in the morning light. Maybe he should just say something and get it out in the open, but he didn't want to risk destroying their friendship. Before he moved away from her, he kissed her forehead. She sighed in her sleep; her hand curling around his side to hang onto him. He groaned inaudibly before sliding out from under her arm. Did she even know what she did to him? He left before he did something he regretted, and she opened her eyes a moment later to an empty bed.

Ray made his way to the porch that faced the sun rise and leaned against the railing. The sun felt good in the chilly morning air. He closed his eyes and tried to collect his thoughts. There were light footsteps behind him a minute later.

"I thought you'd be making breakfast. I never took you as someone who would watch the sunrise," she commented, coming to stand beside him.

Neela was dressed in the tank top and sweatpants that she had slept in, and he couldn't resist staring at her. She was more beautiful than the sunrise to him anyway. She turned her head toward him when she noticed him staring.

"What?" she asked, not self-consciously, but curious as to what he was thinking. He shook his head, looking away again.

"Ray," she said softly. "We should talk…about us." It was out now. There was no way either of them could turn away from this conversation.

Ray knew what was coming. She was going to break his heart into a thousand, non-repairable pieces. She was going to say that there wasn't a chance in hell that they could be together. "There's nothing between us if that's what you want," he forced out. It hurt to say that, but it also hurt to love her and not have her love him back.

Surprise was etched on Neela's face. "That's not what I was going to say," she admitted. "But if that's what you want…" She turned away from him slowly, wrapping her arms around herself as she headed back towards the house.

"No, wait." Ray grabbed her arm and turned her back toward him. He gave her a weak smile. "Can we start this conversation over?" She nodded, waiting for him to say something. He released her arm.

"I meant to say I understand if you don't want to…" Want to what? Love him? Be around him? Spend her life with him? "But I want you to know that…love you."

He cursed himself for being unable to get a simple sentence out. He was pretty sure she was going to start laughing at him any moment now. Neela's mouth widened in a smile until she was positively glowing in the morning light.

"Dr. Barnett," she said, standing on her toes to hook her arms around his neck and pull him toward her. "I love you too," she breathed before their lips met.

For the first time, they allowed themselves to become lost. Her hands were locked around his neck, but his hands were moving of their own accord to slip under her tank top. An eternity later when they broke apart for air, they didn't separate completely, preferring to stay close.

"I love you," he repeated between heavy breaths.

"I know." She pulled his hands out from under her shirt. "but we need to get dressed and go to the hospital," she reminded him, smiling as a curse flew from his mouth. He seemed to have forgotten.

"Grab breakfast on the drive over?" he asked as he pulled away.

"Sure," she agreed, releasing him, so he could hurry back inside. Once he had left, she realized she had missed the sunrise, but that didn't matter anymore.

******************

Some coffee and doughnuts on the way to the hospital was enough for them. Whey they made it to Jacey's room, she must have noticed some change between them because she started smiling.

"So nice to see you again." Jacey gave Neela a small hug this time.

"Doctors said you can go home today," Ray announced. "Though you won't be doing much besides resting for a while. I'm going to grab a nurse, okay?" He left the room, leaving Neela alone with his mother.

"I hope you weren't too inconvienced at the house. I know there wasn't a lot in the fridge and that," Jacey commented once Ray left. She shifted to sit more upright in the bed, a wince crossing her features. Neela helped her.

"Oh, no, Mrs. Barnett, your house is beautiful."

"Thank you, Neela, but call me Jacey." There was a pause before she continued somewhat hesitantly. "I hope my son has been good to you. When I've talked to him on the phone in the past, he's always spoken so much about you."

Neela felt herself blushing. "Good stuff, I hope. He is really good to me."

"Of course, and I'm glad." Jacey smiled again, studying her.

Ray returned with a nurse who went over a couple of things with them before they were signing release papers and helping Jacey out to the car.

Once they got her home, Ray helped her up to her bedroom and left her to her rest. Neela was in the kitchen attempting to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Is she okay?" Neela asked as she carefully turned the sandwiches over.

"Yep. I know how she feels. The whole car accident thing," Ray said with a slight grimace at the memory.

"That's not exactly what I meant." Neela flipped the last sandwich and turned the burners down on the oven before the food started to burn. "Grab some plates for me, please?"

"Yeah, sure."

He set the plates down beside the oven, waiting for her to transfer the sandwiches. "I know what you meant. I just don't exactly know the answer. Time heals all wounds, right?"

"You don't sound very convinced." Neela took her plate to sit down at the bar. Ray shrugged off her answer and joined her.

"Do you realize that we only have another day here?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I don't think I want to go back," Neela replied in a depressed tone. "It's been nice to get away from County for a while."

There was another pause while they ate before Neela spoke up curiously. "Ray, what did you tell your mom about me?"

"Nothing much," he replied a little too nonchalantly as he took his empty plate to the dishwasher. The dishwasher was something he told Neela they needed to invest in because then he would wash the dishes too.

"She told me that you talk about me."

"You may have come up in passing once in a while. Don't you ever mention me to your parents?" he asked, leaning on the counter and crossing his arms.

"You mean the few select times I'm forced to talk to my parents? No," she answered truthfully. "They think I'm still rooming with Abby. Besides they probably wouldn't like you." She laughed as she put her own plate in the dishwasher. Ray frowned. "Don't worry, Ray. All that matters is that I like you."

He caught her before she could walk away, leaning down to give her a kiss. "I suppose."

"I'm actually kind of jealous. You and your mom are so close. My parents and I argue a lot. We can never agree on anything."

"Does that mean we'll have to get married in secret?" he asked, leaning toward her again, but she pulled back, scrutinizing him.

"You're scaring me just a little," she admitted. "You never talk about long term relationship stuff."

He kissed her neck instead, his arms going around her waist to pull her closer to him. "When it comes to you, I'd rather talk about forever."

"You mean that?" She felt giddy and wanted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming. Ray kissing down the side of her neck felt pretty real though.

"Yep." He raised his head and kissed her lips since she allowed him this time.

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them. Neela jumped away from Ray and covered her face so she didn't have to face Jacey.

"Hey, mom, do you feel okay?" Ray asked causally as if nothing was going on. Neela didn't know how he could even look at his mom after practically making out with her in front of her.

"Oh, I'm fine. Couldn't sleep so I was going to get a drink," Jacey answered, moving for the fridge, but Ray beat her there.

"I'll get it. You're supposed to be resting."

Neela slipped from the room, going into the family room to leave Ray and his mom to argue over what she could and couldn't do. Neela found the book she had been reading before and picked it up to start again. She was unsure of how it had even ended up down there.

Ray joined her a minute later after Jacey disappeared upstairs. "We never got around to deciding what we are doing tomorrow. Plans for tonight were easy."

Neela rolled her eyes at his obvious implication. "Aren't we going to hang around here and watch over your mom?"

"She gave me an earful for worrying over her too much and helping out," Ray winced.

"At least I know where you get it from," Neela commented. Ray chose to ignore it.

"Maybe we could do something relaxing. I'll take you downtown or something."

She smiled genuinely. "That sounds nice."

******************

Downtown Baton Rouge wasn't a whole lot different from Chicago. Nonetheless, Neela wished Abby was here to go shopping with her. She had drug Ray through the mall by his hand until he planted his feet and refused to budge.

"There's no way I'm gonna be caught dead in there," he informed her. "You can go. I'll meet you somewhere else." He looked around quickly and spied an electronics store. "There. I'll be in there."

Then he was gone before Neela could blink. She pushed her purse up onto her shoulder further before continuing on without him. She was interrupted from looking through the clothes by her cell phone ringing. Abby again.

"Hey, "Neela answered, bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Hey, Neela. I hope your day is going better than mine."

Abby sounded angry to her, and Neela checked her watch, figuring her friend was still on her shift at the hospital.

"Mine's going pretty well actually. I'm at the mall right now. How are you doing?"

"Ugh, Morris is being an ass, but besides that I'm doing well. Who wanted him to be Chief Resident again?" Abby ranted. Neela could hear her shuffling papers around. She was probably complaining about Morris in the middle of the hospital, right in front of him.

"Certainly not me."

"When are you coming back to Chicago?" Abby sighed. Neela heard Morris shout in the background for Abby to get back to work. "Shut the hell up, Morris! I'm on my break!" Abby yelled back.

"Soon. Tomorrow, but I'm not sure what time exactly."

"Good. Did you, um…" Abby coughed a little. Neela imagined her leaning in closer to the phone, so the other doctors couldn't hear her. "Tell Ray?"

"Yeah, you'll never believe this. We…"

"Yes! I'm so happy for you!" Abby exclaimed.

"I didn't even tell you if it was good news yet," Neela frowned as she walked away from the clothes, bored of looking at them.

"I could just tell," Abby replied. Neela could tell she was smiling. "I have to go. Pratt is pointing at his watch again. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yep, see you tomorrow," Neela said, before she flipped her phone shut.

She wondered over to the electronics store and found Ray in front of the huge flat screen TVs.

"Hey, I was thinking now is a good time to grab lunch," she said. He pulled his eyes away from the TVs slowly.

"Yeah, sounds good. Didn't you buy anything?"

"No. Abby called, and I got distracted. Come on, I'm starved."

They had continued shopping until late in the evening. Ray tolerated her looking at everything in every store in sight until she was ready to drop, and her feet were aching from walking all day. She enjoyed herself immensely, even if it wasn't the most exciting afternoon she had ever had. The only thing that counted was that she was out somewhere, with Ray nonetheless, and seeing new places.

They talked over lunch and dinner until they were comfortable enough that it seemed like they had been in a relationship for months now, instead of a day. Being friends for as long as they had helped make things smoother, and they didn't worry too much right away about the new complications brought by taking their relationship a step further. Tomorrow they were going back to their regular lives with the hopes of making this all work out in the end.

****************

Neela hated goodbyes; even to people she barely knew. She was holding her suitcase in the doorway of Ray's house, watching as Ray said good bye to his mom before Jacey turned to her next.

"Thank you," Jacey whispered, hugging her lightly.

"You're welcome," Neela replied warmly, smiling despite how sad Jacey looked to see them leaving.

"I hope to see you again soon," his mom added.

Soon? Neela was unsure of what she meant by that, but she agreed anyway.

"Ready to go?" Ray asked, looking to her as he picked up his own suitcase. Neela nodded again in confirmation. She watched Ray's mom wave them off as they got into their car and started to drive away. She wondered how Jacey interpreted their relationship.

Suddenly, it didn't matter though as they whizzed past the other cars on the busy Baton Rouge road to the airport. The sun was beaming down on them, Ray was cranking the radio up as one of his favorite songs came on, and Neela was utterly content with how her life was going. She leaned back with a sigh and enjoyed her last few minutes of relaxation before she was back on the plane to Chicago and her hectic life as an ER doctor.

**********************

_The Next Day:_

Neela leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep sitting upright.

"You look exhausted," Abby commented, breaking the peace.

"I am exhausted. I got tons of sleep while I was out on leave. Now I'm back to getting almost none."

"Well, your shift's over in fifteen minutes, and we're not getting slammed so leave now," Abby suggested, setting down the chart she was working on.

"Sounds good," Neela replied, and they were interrupted by Ray walking into the ER for his shift.

"Wow, you're fifteen minutes early, Barnett!" Pratt exclaimed, thrusting some charts in his direction. Even Susan was giving him a weird look and checking the clock as if she didn't believe what she was seeing.

"Yeah, don't get used to it," Ray called after Pratt before looking over at Neela.

"You look like shit," he observed before giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Thanks."

Abby had a grin on her face when they pulled back.

"We got two traumas coming in!" Carter called, hurrying through the area. "Neela, Abby, Ray, I need your help!"

Neela groaned. So much for leaving early or even on time.

"Welcome back to County, you two," Susan stated cheerfully.

* * *

A/N: This is where I intended to end it, and maybe write a sequel. I'm not so sure now, though. Should I someday write a sequel dealing with their life working up until they get married or something? Or, just continue this story?

One last time, thank you to everyone who has supported this story until this part! Without your support, I might not have bothered to finish it.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Wow, it's been like a month. Sorry about that. I wish I had something more to give everyone, but sadly, this is all I got. This scene takes place after Season 11's "You Are Here." I'm not sure if that messes with the timeline of my story, but we're going to throw it in here anyway.

* * *

Neela's evening was finally looking up. After spending another hard shift at the hospital, she had come home, broke out the alcohol, and sat in front of the TV. Of course, that was after she had taken a shower and thought about burning the clothes she had worn during her hospital shift. The day had been that bad.

She wished she was still in Baton Rogue, enjoying the sunshine. Looking out the window of her apartment, she only saw rain. It had been raining for the last three days straight. That did nothing to improve her mood.

The sound of the apartment door opening and closing drew her back to the present. Ray was coming inside, taking his jacket off, and throwing it in the usual place on the back of the couch.

"You're home already? I thought you had a gig," Neela said, craning her neck to look back at him.

"Yeah, um…" Ray cleared his throat. "I missed it. Stayed at the hospital with a patient." He sat his guitar up against the back of the couch and came around the front to sit down.

"What happened? Is everything alright?" Neela asked in concern. She lowered the volume on the TV and waited for him to speak. He was rubbing his hands rather roughly over his face.

"Got a headache," he offered with a weak smile. He looked as stressed as she felt right now. Maybe she wasn't the only one having bad days since they had returned to County General.

"Come here, then," Neela responded, putting a pillow on her lap, and tugging him down until his head was resting on it.

Ray sighed softly as he let her sooth the headache pounding angrily through his skull. "Do you remember the patient I was dealing with today? Eugene?" he asked. She made a noise of agreement. "I found him outside the hospital when I was leaving. Told him I'd pay for his taxi to go home. He refused, so I started talking to him. I found out he doesn't want to go home because his mom's boyfriend raped him."

There was a heavy silence. "Oh, god, Ray, that's horrible," Neela murmured.

"I know," he whispered back. "And here I've been yelling at the kid to go home."

"You didn't know."

"I had to make things a little better," he continued. "So, I took him back to the hospital and stayed with him until his mom came."

"You made the right choice in the end," Neela praised, and they both lapsed into silence. Neela was watching the almost muted television while comforting Ray. She took the blanket from the back of the couch and spread it over him, succeeding in jolting him awake.

"Ugh, sorry, Neela, must have drifted off," he apologized, starting to get up.

"It's okay. Stay," Neela replied, pulling him back down. "My show's on for another twenty minutes."

He didn't resist. "I can't stop thinking about that kid," he groaned. "I can't believe I kept shutting him away when something that horrible had happened to him."

"It's really eating at you, huh?" She almost smiled a little. A while ago, Ray wouldn't have cared the slightest if he made a mistake like that. He had come a long way since when she had first met him. "Would it make you feel better if I said you did what you could after you knew? You got through to the kid where other doctors couldn't. No one else found out what had happened to him."

"A little…" he answered.

"Ray," she said gently, reaching for the remote as her show came back from a commercial break. "Get some sleep tonight. You're as exhausted as I am."

"Bad day for you too?" he asked.

"Seems they are contagious."

"Yeah, and my band's gonna kill me too," he muttered half to himself.

"Screw them," Neela replied before focusing her attention on the TV.

* * *

TBC. Maybe I will have a real chapter up for you soon.


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